ZOEY
Aethelthryth volunteers totake over my swimming lessons.
We have our first one right after I leave Aerix’s quarters. And already, I’m making far more progress with swimming than I ever did with Jake. I’m not going to be entering the Olympics anytime soon, but at least I can now sort of float without going into sheer panic mode.
I can’t believe Jake’s gone. Just like that. He was here when I went to sleep yesterday, and now…
The image of his body next to that fountain makes my stomach twist and my heart sink.
It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so harsh with him, or if I’d ended things with him in private, none of this would have happened.
Aerix wouldn’t havekilledhim.
I lift my hand to my neck, my fingers drifting to the spot where Aerix sank his fangs into me after our confrontation this morning. And, as it always does when I think of him, my mind goes to places it shouldn’t.
“Zoey?” Aethelthryth says from next to me as we make our way back to the human wing.
“Yes?” I ask, snapped out of my thoughts.
“You’re no good to anyone if you lose yourself in this place,” she says. “Focus on what youcancontrol—your mind, your strength, and your will to survive.”
Her words hit me harder than I expect.
“I’m doing the best I can,” I finally say.
“Jake’s death isn’t your fault, but it’s consuming you.” She glances at me, her sharp features softening just enough to let me know she isn’t trying to be cruel. “And Aerix? He’s dangerous, yes, but you’re letting his actions overshadow your choices.”
I scoff, bitterness creeping into my voice. “It’s hard not to when he’s deciding who lives and who dies around me.”
“You can’t change him. You can’t control him,” she says. “But you can choose how you conduct yourself. Which means you have to stop this cycle of self-blame before it has a chance to truly start.”
Her words settle heavily over me, stirring something deep in my chest.
She’s right, of course. Especially because I have other things to worry about—like some of the things Cierra and Aerix said in my presence during their skirmish in his quarters. The questions Aerix refused to answer, about the Blood Coven, the Revenants, and Kallista.
I want to ask Aethelthryth. I’m seconds away from it.
But something stops me. Because while she’s been kind to me since I arrived, the fae are always playing games.
And there’s no reason to believe she’s any different from the rest of them.
During lunch, I keep glancing at the central fountain—the one where Jake’s body had been discovered before I woke up.
It looks so deceptively normal now. There aren’t even any bloodstains around it, since all of Jake’s blood had been drained into the fountain’s basin.
The others in the courtyard are quiet, refusing to look at me.
Including Victoria.
Admittedly, Victoria’s never excited to talk to me. But given that it’s just the two of us at this table—since Sophia’s at Aerix’s quarters for lunch—she usually makes a bit of an effort.
“You blame me for what happened to Jake,” I say after I can’t take a second more of the awkwardness, setting my fork down with more force than necessary.
Her eyes snap to mine, sharp as broken glass. “Aerix killed Jake because Jake dared to touch what belongs to him,” she says, venom lacing her tone.
My breath catches in my chest. Because she’s right. If I’d done something differently, then maybe…
Stop the cycle of self-blame,I remind myself what Aethelthryth told me.It’s not going to get me anywhere.
