The urge to shift hits me hard. If I were someone else right now, there would be a level of separation between us. I would be one step removed from the living, screamingneedclawing its wayout of me to get to her.
I’m raw and exposed instead. Vulnerable.
I should leave and never come back.
A new life... I could have one if I wanted it. But with Celine standing in front of me—wearing nothing but a smirk that dares me to take what I want—how could I want anything but her?
Soft curves and a backbone of steel; she’s a beautiful contradiction. And I’ve never wanted anything more.I’ve wasted so much time.The power of speech returns to me in a rush.
“Of course I want you,” I say, my voice harsh. “Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve seen nothing and no one else.”
Celine smiles. “Go on,” she says.
I narrow my eyes and shake my head. “It’s your turn, darling. Why my shirt?”
She glances at the floor where the crumpled fabric lays in a heap, then rolls her shoulders back and meets my eyes defiantly. “Because you hurt my feelings.”
I’m not sure who moves first. All I know is the distance between us vanishes like smoke.
Her bare skin collides with mine, and my lips are on hers, taking everything she gives me and knowing it will never be enough to satisfy my hunger for her. She smells of the unfamiliar products scattered around the bathroom. I want to replace them with the scent of us until it’s so intertwined that no one can distinguish where I begin and she ends.
Celine drags her lips away from mine. I growl, then feel her smile against my jaw as she peppers kisses down my neck and collarbone. Her nipples graze my chest, and she kisses her way down my stomach, the tip of her tongue darting out to taste me as she explores.
There’s no hiding what’s been done to me, what they’ve taken.
I try not to think about it, but I’m moreotherthan man. As I stare at the dark red strands of red hair grazing my amber-coated skin, uncertainty chokes me. “Celine,” I groan. “Wait, darling. Ican be someone else for you. Give me a second to cool down, and I’ll be whoever you want me to be.”
She freezes; lips pressed to my hipbone. “Anyone I want?”
Her tone tells me nothing, and with the steam, I can’t read her expression either.
I gulp around the lump in my throat. “Of course,” I say, doing my best to sound unaffected. “Say the word, and I’ll do my best.”
Then her lips are gone, and she’s standing in front of me again.
She grabs my wrist and brings my fingers to one stiff nipple. “Tell me, Riven, does it feel like I want you to be anyone else?” I frown, and she drags my hand between her legs.
Gods, she’s silken perfection and soaking wet.For me. For this cursed form.I don’t understand it. It breaks me completely. I’m almost surprised when the amber coating that binds me doesn’t fall to the bathroom floor and shatter.
“Well?” Celine demands. “What does that tell you?” Her voice is hard, but the expression on her face is unbearably soft. Another beautiful contradiction.
“You want me?” I choke out the question that’s been haunting me since she first kissed me in the hedge.
“I want you,” Celine says firmly. Her tone leaves no room for doubt, yet I can’t quite bring myself to accept it.
I meet her gaze, gather all my courage, and ask, “Why?”
She cocks her head and tucks a wet strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll answer you. I’m not deflecting, I just have one question first: why does that matter to you?”
Why does it matter?I’m not sure I know. All I know is that Celine standing here, touching me, wantingme,is too good to be true. I learned at a young age that I couldn’t have things like her—beautiful things, real things. I’ve fucked my share of shifted veydran in the past, but I’ve never touched anyone with this faceor these hands. They wouldn’t have wanted that. Wouldn’t have wanted me.
A memory hits me hard: Celine staring up at me the night I sent her into the arena to die.
I offered to show her any face she wanted then too; it was the least I could do. Shame and guilt were tearing me to pieces, cracking the brittle veneer of detachment I’d worked for years to construct around myself.
Even that night, when she thought my face would be the last one she saw, she let me keep it.
It changed me, but I still don’t understand.
