I’m safer here in the enclave’s compound, but there’s no point pretending that fear is keeping me here. Not when my stomach twists whenever I imagine setting off on my own.
How can I get excited about creating a new Riven when the current model is hopelessly pathetic and pining after a woman who will never be his? It’s shameful. Listening to her get fucked by three other menshould be the final nail in the coffin. Except I’m frozen in place, hard as steel, and furious—not at her, but at myself.
I had thought myself incapable of sinking lower, but every day that I stay here is a new humiliation ritual.
The noises stop, but I can hear them talking through the wall. Soft, low rumbles, punctuated by the occasional laugh. The words aren’t clear, but the tone is obvious.
They’re a team, made stronger by all my attempts to break them.
I lurch to my feet. The soft, black sleeves of my sweater rub against my arms as I pace. The material is new to me, like the faces that walk this compound. I’ve memorized them all. I could shift into any of them at a second’s notice, and they don’t seem worried about it.
Either they don’t fear me because they believe they’re strong enough to defeat me,or they trust me not to repay their kindness with treachery. The possibilities are equally unsettling.
I push my sleeves up and scowl at the orange casing coating my skin. Sometimes I imagine I can see beneath it. That I know the shade of my own skin. It’s futile. Wasted time on thoughts that only bring me pain.
This is all I’ll ever be, and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I’ll stop pining after an impossible future. Sighing, I rake the clothes the djinn made for me into a bag.
It’s time to go. No one will miss me, anyway.
I wait until the only ones left awake are the stars.
Then I ease the door open slowly, not making a sound.
The hall is empty and dark. I look both ways and close the door behind me. It shuts silently. Part of me wishes I had slammed it.
Ignoring my own stupidity, I sink into my training and sneak down the hall. Through the central spine of the wing, past the giant tree in the foyer. I run my fingers over the bark—something I’ve longed to do since we arrived. It’s smooth and waxy, nothing like the rough trunks in the monster realm I’m used to.
I bypass the front door, choosing the side exit I noticed when we walked to the sparring room. It opens with a slight whine, but I don’t linger long enough to be discovered. I’m not a hostage; I simply don’t want to answer questions. Or face Celine.
On my left, the massive decorative hedge looms over me, the ornate fountain gurgling cheerfully to my right. There are two guards by the gate, but I expected that. The administrative wing is my best bet. It’s part meeting rooms, part storage, and I’m confident I can find a place to slip through unnoticed. After all, the security is designed to keep intruders out, not hold guests in.
I’m tempted to steal a car, but something about that doesn’t sit right with me. I’m not sure if my long-dead conscious has resurrected itself, or if I don’t want to make another powerful enemy. Either way, my two feet will have to do.
Fingers wrap around my wrist.
I react instinctively, tossing my attacker into the hedge. Unfortunately, theirgrip on my wrist tightens, and we both tumble to the ground, crashing through the manicured branches until they consume us both.
I pull my fist back to drive it into their face, but they’re too fast. Somehow, I end up pinned to the dirt with the thick base of a bush pressing uncomfortably against my shoulder.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Celine demands.
She’s wearing all black, her red hair poking out of the strange knit hat falling over one of her eyes. She must have followed me out here, but if that’s the case, why is she wearing sneaking clothes?
“I could ask you the same question,” I hiss, glancing over her shoulder to make sure the guards didn’t hear us.
“I asked first!” She winces as she tries to get away from the branches poking her in the back. “Shit, I should have let you stay on top.”
I blink, my mind processing our position too late. Celine is straddling me; her thighs wedged tightly against my hips. Her hat is caught in the hedge. She wrestles with it angrily, squirming against me in a way my body willfully misinterprets.
Damn everything. I never intended to say goodbye. Now I have no choice.
“I’m leaving,” I say. “It’s time, and... I don’t belong here.”
Celine scoffs. “And you think the rest of us do? This is temporary, Riven, until I can contain my father?—”
“Shh, please. I didn’t say you made a mistake.” My hands grip her hips to stop her movements before I embarrass us both. “Wherever you and the others go, and the location is wholly irrelevant, you’ll belong there because you belong together. I...” Gods, this is mortifying. “I need to find where I belong, darling.”
Wonderful.I sound like a stray dog.
