Having Polly calling me Bonemangler like that was more painful than I expected.
Even though itwasmy name. Even though it was how I’d seen myself for decades.
I was a brutalizer, a mangler, a breaker. I broke shit.
I rarely had to put it back together.
At first, I’d told her to call me Abraham, because for some reason Bones sounded strange in her mouth.
But then, it became something Iliked. Because she was the only one who got to call me a name that didn’t relate to my job as MC Prez. Something that didn’t have anything to do with violence or brutality.
But I hadn’t acted like Abraham with her. I’d acted like Bonemangler.
For a moment, I could not get one word out.
“I told you never to drive that car. Ever. It’s too dangerous.”
Fuck, that wasn’t what I meant to say.
I saw a shadow pass over Polly’s face, and she turned away with a little shrug. Panic loosened my tongue.
“No! The fact of the matter is, I missed you.”
She still looked stony-faced at me, and I felt sweat drip down the back of my shirt.
Where was my sunshiney girl?
“I didn’t mean what I said.”
Still she stared at me.
“I shouldn’t have said those things to my brother. They weren’t true.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t get any more of thatmotheringshit you were so offended by.”
“No! That’s what I’m—trying to tell you. I liked what you did.”
“I don’t believe you,” Polly scoffed.
“I’ve been doing all that shit! I switched over to green tea instead of whiskey at night. You were right about that. Been eating all those vegetables. My blood sugar is way better now. I’m checking it every morning. And look!”
I waved over to where the Christmas tree was decorated. Kind of crooked and maybe it looked a little bit shit, but there were popcorn balls and cranberry strings.
And she shrugged. Actuallyshrugged.
My heart sunk.
I hated to see Polly like this. Her face shuttered away and expressionless. There was pain in her eyes that hadn’t been there before, and she wasn’t smiling.
This wasn’t my happy, bubbly girl at all. My words had hurt the kindest and best woman in the world. The one person I should have never run my mouth to.
I did not want to think about the weakness I had displayed, because ithadbeen weakness, to lie about Polly and what she meant to me.
Unc was right that I had acted like a stupid boy.
“Polly, you have to believe me?—”
“Why?” she asked, crossing her arms. “Why should I believe you?”
