I didn’t plan to find out.
I was a vampire, yes. In time, I could accept that I had to drink blood. But I wouldn’t take it straight from the source like they all did.
“I’ll manage,” I said, looking into the goblet. There were four, maybe five swallows.
I tilted the goblet to my lips and drank deeply. It burned my throat, foul as anything I’d ever had—which included Nelson’s spit—but I drank deeply.
It was an effort not to gag. I forced myself to swallow over and over again. If I paused, I wouldn’t manage.
It’s better if it tastes bad. It means I won’t do it more than necessary,I rationalized. Or maybe it was a good sign that I struggled to stomach it. Proof I retained some humanity.
You weren’t human when you gorged yourself on the vampire king,another voice whispered.
I slammed the goblet down. “There.” The acid still coated the inside of my mouth. What I wouldn’t have given for some fresh mint to chew to drown the taste. Not that I was sure I could even eat normally anymore.
Raphael set the goblet aside, but he didn’t leave the bed. There were only inches between us now.
“You missed a little.” He pressed his thumb to my chin and wiped away a stray drop of blood.
Once again, that little touch ignited me. It chased away thoughts of humanity and anger and frustration. The world wascompressed to that small moment where his skin touched mine, tender, caring, in a way I’d always craved—and now would never know.
This must be another part of being a fledgling,I thought as his finger dropped away.
“Is it being my sire that makes me crave your touch?”
I slammed my mouth shut. I hadn’t meant to ask it like that.
To Raphael’s credit, he didn’t laugh, but his gaze lightened, just slightly. “It takes time to get used to the truth compulsion,” he said, not yet answering my question. “You’ll develop a skill for twisting words, but for now your body will try to be as direct as possible to avoid incurring the consequences of attempting untruths.”
My cheeks burned, and I resolved that, after the bloodlust, this would be the first thing I mastered. “Well?”
He shook his head. “No. This has nothing to do with me being your sire.”
My shoulders slumped. “It must be something. You said my emotions would be more intense. Maybe because I drank from you?”
“Your emotions are more intense,” Raphael agreed. “The craving for connection, for touch, will be felt all the more deeply.”
Then it wasn’t because of Raphael. I’d feel like this with anyone. Naturally, since I’d spent the last several days in a cell. “So it’ll go away when I’m no longer a fledgling. It’s just part of the transition.”
Raphael leaned closer. “I didn’t say that.”
I swallowed. “Then what?”
“Don’t you see? As a human, you bottled up your emotions. Your desires, your wants, your needs. Being a vampire tears all those walls down. Yes, it’s more intense during the transition. Your mood will swing like a pendulum between extremes. Butthose extremes were always there. You just hid from them.” He drew closer, his breath caressing the shell of my ear. “Little viper, everything you feel when I touch you, you’ve always felt. You just can’t lie to yourself anymore.”
Chapter Four
Samara
Everything I feel whenhe touches me, I’ve always felt . . .
I had to get out of this room. Away from his cedar scent and piercing eyes and the tingle of my skin, as tantalizing as any magic.
I pushed to get out of bed, unsure what to say, what lie-that-wasn’t-technically-a-lie I could tell, only to be saved by a sudden pounding coming from the other room.
Raphael and I both twisted to look at the shut door.
“Stay here,” he instructed.
