“I’m a vampire. Thirst is a part of that.” Did he sound a touch defensive?
“I haven’t seen you feed since we’ve been here.” Or even in Damerel. But we hadn’t shared quarters then. I’d assumed Raphael drank in the privacy of his own rooms, just like I had.
Was it as vile to him as to me? Or at least, it had seemed vile until I’d gotten used to drinking from him.
“That’s because I haven’t fed. At my age, I need little enough blood to sustain me.” In the distance, the fires had dwindled, only a few remaining. Smoke mixed with the salt on the breeze.
“But you are thirsty,” I pressed.
“There’s only one blood I crave. And I won’t take it.” Raphael finally let my hand drop. “Do you think you’ll always hate being a vampire?”
I blinked at the subject change. Even with the truth compulsion, I had to search for an honest answer. “If you asked me two weeks ago, I’d have said yes.” I’d always thought turning into a vampire would be a fate worse than death. That they represented every evil of the world.
I’d seen evil before. Seen it in the eyes of men who’d hurt me, in the cruelty that had raised me. I’d let myself believe it was worth enduring, to stay safe from worse threats—like vampires. There was a comfort to that. One I’d clung to for far too long.
As Raphael had pointed out—I wasn’t a victim in need of protection anymore. I could fight back, protect myself and others. Iwantedthat, even though it cost bloodstained currency.
Raphael let me gather my thoughts. “It’s not just this deal that changed my mind. Maybe it helped. Maybe that was your plan all along. To stop me from fighting this nature. But it’s also being here. Outside, by the ocean, in a city where a dozen species I never even knew existed can celebrate together. They don’t fear the vampires. I still . . . I can’t understand the choices everyone makes. The donors, the vampires who asked to be changed.But perhaps not understanding means the fault lies with me instead.”
It had been so clear when I’d studied the grimoire, preparing to leave Damerel and go to the Witch Kingdom.
Of course, that wouldn’t change the fact that I would eventually get caught. I scarcely understood the barest hint of the magic in my veins.
The vampires might coexist with voids, witches, shape-changers, and fae. But the necromancer? The one who could truly present a threat?
I’d still have to leave, I realized. Once the bond broke. It had been hard to sense before, but as it weakened, I knew it would be over soon. When we returned to Damerel, I would have to flee.
Despite whatever was between us this evening, whatever spell had been cast, I would still have to leave.
“Do you think you could learn to like it?” he asked.
Do you think you could learn to like me?I imagined him asking.
And Dolor impale me, I did. I liked the way he pushed me, liked the way he made me feel safe, liked the way he didn’t make me feel foolish when I’d been a fool so often.
I set the half-carved flute aside, leaning closer. I put his hand in mine. Because I liked the way it felt.
“I’m afraid of how much I already do.”
Raphael, who could run across a room in a blink, moved so slowly. So slowly as he tipped his head toward mine. If I’d still had a heart, it would be racing.
Then the sky exploded.
Chapter Forty
Amalthea
After a full weekin the tedious company of Lady Kayara, Thea was beginning to wonder if a continent filled with corpses was really that bad.
If one of those corpses belonged to Lady Kayara, Eurobis might be much improved.
She’d gotten no closer to finding any of the necromancer’s objects of power. Lady Kayara was young, but not so young that she fled the dawn, which made for very long nights of entertaining and very short days for searching.
Dyna chaperoned without complaint. Thea didn’t really need a chaperone, especially one who was likely tattling to Demos about every flirtatious comment.
Of course, Dyna wouldn’t think it was tattling. She’d think she was just updating the general on the fact thatLady Amalthea has requested to stay longer than planned in the company of one of the court ladies, and Demos would know full well she’d been originally set to return to the mountain kingdom after only a few days. And Demos would know that with Thea,delaysmeantdalliances.
Not that the uptight general would ever be jealous. No, he was just judgmental, and there would be some lecture about “duty” and “professionalism” in her future, at which point she would remind him he wasn’t her superior.
