“We were so scared,” Nina said.
“I think we’re still scared,” Claire said. “I mean, we’re jumping out of an airplane tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but it’s a different kind of scared,” Nina said.
She was looking at the birthday photo of the woman who had been so different all those months ago, wearing David’s sweater like armor.
“Back then, I was just scared of living. Now I’m scared of an airplane.”
“I think that’s a legitimate fear.”
Harper laughed, then Claire, and then they were all laughing.
As Claire smelled the mole and looked at the photos, she thought, This is what a year of bravery looks like. It’s not a highlight reel. It’s a kitchen full of food and laughter, and the people who showed up over and over.
They ate at the table that Greg had cleared for them before he left for his brother’s house for the night. He had cleared the table without being asked. He’d moved his laptop, his earbuds, and the stack of mail that had been sitting there accumulating for the last week. He’d put out the good plates, the ones Claire used for birthdays and Thanksgiving. He’d even left a note on the counter that said, “Have fun tonight. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow. Be brave. Love, G.”
Claire had read the note three times and then put it in the drawer with her sketchbooks. That’s where she kept things that mattered.
The mole was delicious, rich, dark, and smoky, layered in a way that felt like tasting the whole history of a country in a single spoonful. Nina served it over rice the way David did, and they ate at Claire’s table with those good plates and the wine.
“Elena would approve,” Harper said.
“No, Elena would say that this rice is overcooked,” Nina said.
“Is the rice overcooked?”
“Slightly. Don’t tell Elena.”
After dinner, they moved to the dining room with the wine. Claire had put blankets on the floor with pillows, creating what looked like a nest. It was comfortable and slightly absurd, but they sank into it and didn’t get up.
The napkin was on the coffee table. Claire had taken it off the fridge for the first time all year and put it next to the wine, next to some of the photos they’d printed at the drugstore that afternoon on an impulse.
It looked different from what it had been eleven months ago. The dusty rose had faded to a softer hue. The ink had blurred at the edges. Harper’s sharp handwriting was still legible.
The pact. Three rules, three signatures underneath.
Nina picked it up. She held it carefully. “We did it,” she said. “Just one big adventure left.”
“Yep, we did do it,” Claire said.
“We did it because of you,” Harper said to Nina. “You said yes first on that porch. You held out your hand and said, give me the pen. If you hadn’t done that, then that thing would probably still be blank.”
Nina looked at the napkin. She traced her signature with her finger. Then she traced Claire’s and Harper’s.
“David is everywhere on this napkin,” she said. “He’s in so many of the things I did this year. The mole, of course. But also the tattoo and the cooking class. I signed that napkin because David would have told me to. So every adventure I went on, I did because of him. And every adventure changed me into someone who isn’t only about him anymore. Sometimes that part makes me cry. That he gave me this, and this gave me something different. His memory gave me freedom.”
The room was quiet. Outside, the Beaufort night breathed, warm and slow.
Harper put her hand on Nina’s knee. She didn’t say anything. Harper had learned over the months of grief and growth that the bravest thing you could sometimes do was not speak.
Claire reached over and put her hand on Nina’s other knee. And the three of them sat in the living room in their nest of blankets and pillows.
“I need to say something,” Claire said.
“You always need to say something,” Harper said, rolling her eyes. “It’s part of your charm.”
“I need to say that this year saved me. Not the adventures, but both of you. I was disappearing inside my own life, and you both pulled me out. You didn’t try to fix me. You just stood next to me while I fixed myself. I spent twenty-six years making everything beautiful for other people, and this year I made something beautiful for me. And you were there the whole time.”
