“Okay, I won’t go out alone,” I conceded. He was right on that point. “But I wouldn’t let you tell me what to wear when we were together. I’m certainly not going to let you tell me now,” I snapped, ducking out from under his arm and heading for the shower.
“Things change,” he pointed out in a serious tone, and I knew he wasn’t referring to my wardrobe.
“I fucking hope so,” I muttered.
That night found me sipping beer with Scarlet at the Knights’ clubhouse. There’d be a barbeque later, but for now, the guys were meeting. The atmosphere was tense given the threats against the club.
The first time I’d been here with Sal, almost a year ago now, I’d been surprised by how welcoming the club headquarters felt. The interior walls were wood paneled and lined with hundreds of photos of club members through the years. Many featured Cal, Cole’s father and the club’s president, depicting his career with the Knights throughout the years. He was still a handsome man. He and Cole shared the same startlingly blue eyes. Cal could be a hard man, one who didn’t accept failure or doubt. But, he was also kind with a capacity for warmth if you knew how to tap into it. He had a soft spot for his men’s women and especially his new granddaughter.
The history and pride of the club was clear almost immediately upon entering the space. This was their domain, their castle. The smell of the main room always got me. Leather, grease, and men. Heaven.
Tonight, I’d arrived on the back of Sal’s bike. I’d always loved riding with him, and tonight had been no different. I loved the vibration of the bike under me while I clung to his strong, leather-clad torso. I’d missed it, more than I’d realized until tonight.
Gracie was sleeping peacefully in her Moses basket with Chief snoring contentedly beside her. I kept glancing down at her, secretly willing her awake so I could hold her. “Your face looks much better,” Scarlet observed as we sat outside on the picnic table closest to the door. The outside space was large with several fire pits and picnic tables. It backed up to the desert beyond, and the setting was incredibly private.
I snorted. “It’s mostly makeup. But, yeah, the bruises are fading a bit,” I agreed.
“How’s it going with Sal?” she asked, and I knew she was barely tempering her avid curiosity.
I sighed. “Confusing would be a good way to sum it up.”
We both laughed.
“He seems pretty determined to get another chance. He’s pretty sure of himself that he’ll get one,” I grumbled. “But, I don’t know. He’s the only guy I’ve ever loved, but fuck, it tore me up when he left. I don’t know if I can risk it again. And I don’t want to be in the same place we were before either.”
Scarlet knew intimately all of the issues I’d had with Sal’s lack of affection and the many walls he surrounded himself with.
“Maybe he’s changed,” she offered.
I made a face. “Do men like Sal change? I’m not sure.”
“Everyone can change,” she argued.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked, desperate for some advice.
She sighed and seemed to ponder the question for a moment. “I think it’s Sal.” She shrugged as though that said it all, and it pretty much did. “You two have something powerful despite the issues you had in the past. I think if you don’t give him another shot just because you’re scared of getting hurt, you’ll regret it,” she said while sipping her beer.
“I’m just still so angry,” I muttered.
“That’s fair. He has a lot to explain and to make up for. But, I think you owe it to him, and to yourself, after everything to at least hear him out.”
I nodded, agreeing with her despite the prospect scaring the crap out of me.
“How are you guys doing?” I asked her.
She sighed. “Cole is wound so tight I’m worried he’ll snap,” she replied. “I’ve never seen him so pissed off. And I know he’s worried,” she murmured as she looked down at a sleeping Gracie. “He takes his job as our protector extremely serious and he puts too much pressure on himself,” she fretted. “I wanted to start planning the wedding, but with all of this, I don’t think I should put something else on his plate.”
“You should plan it,” I said firmly. “You’ve already put it off and we both know he wasn’t thrilled about that. If anything, he needs something to look forward to. You both do.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she mused. I knew her well enough to not push her any further and changed the subject back to our favorite topic, Gracie.
Hours later, the meeting was long over, and the atmosphere was decidedly lighter. I was on the other side of the large patio from Sal, but his eyes continually searched until they locked with mine. I felt the same flutter in my belly I always did when his eyes were on me. He was checking in on me to make sure I was okay while keeping his distance. It had always been like this whenever we were out with his brothers. He never seemed to feel a need to stake a claim on me when we were out, content to keep a distance which always frustrated me. That is, unless another man didn’t understand I was indeed spoken for. When needed, Sal could cross a room remarkably fast.
“Another beer?” Axel asked me as I sat off to the side from the commotion of the boisterous party. Scarlet was off with Cole, and I was in need of a moment of solitude.
Axel was a gorgeous, formidable man, and in a detached sort of way I’d always thought he was incredibly attractive. He was powerfully built with the outline of muscle obvious through almost anything he wore. His dark brown hair hung to his collar in a constant state of unruliness. He wore a beard and it worked for him. But, it was his beautiful gray eyes that really set him apart.
Axel was also sort of scary. It was as though he carried a barely contained fury with him wherever he went. And when I’d asked Sal what he did for the club those many months ago, his answer had been quick and succinct.
