I debated pushing him—I rarely did. After a moment, I pressed on. “You’re the toughest guy I know. But you also have the biggest heart. Don’t be afraid of that part of yourself.”
He eyed me intently. “I could say the same to you.”
That’s what I got for pushing him.
“So, if you’re not gonna give me an answer about how you are, how about a brief on what you’ve been doing?” he asked, changing the subject as our sandwiches were put in front of us, complete with the huge dill pickle I loved.
I’d long ago gotten used to being spoken to in military terms.
“I’ve been writing a lot of music,” I told him. “Have you heard of Autumn Powers? She asked me to write a few songs for her. I think they might actually get recorded.” I was still marveling at the news myself.
His eyes lit up. “That’s awesome, Sam.”
“I’ll keep working for Zitto for the time being,” I added, referring to the catering company I’d worked at for the last several years. It was a great gig because it afforded me a lot of flexibility. Zitto, the owner, had always treated me like a family member. “Until I’m rich and famous, of course,” I teased.
He chuckled.
We were quiet for a few minutes as we both dug into our food.
“You gonna ask about him?” he asked finally.
“Is he safe?” I asked without delay.
“Yes,” he answered firmly.
I fought the urge to wilt with relief. “Then that’s all the information I need.”
He rolled his eyes. “Christ, you’re as stubborn as he is.”
“That’s not news,” I pointed out.
He snorted. “Fair enough.”
****
“I don’t like you living by yourself,” he grumbled when we’d pulled back into the Talon parking lot.
I’d known this was coming—I was surprised he’d held off this long. With my hand on the handle of his Charger, I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine, Trav.”
“You still got that pepper spray I gave you?”
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Did you take that self-defense class I sent you a link to?”
“Trav, I’ve taken the last three you sent me. I’m good,” I assured him.
He seemed to ponder that for a moment before nodding stiffly. “All right, then.”
I smiled at my big brother. “I’m good. Love you, Trav.”
“Love you, too, Sam. I’ll check in with you soon.”
With a final wave, I headed to my car, the Accord I’d been driving since college that I prayed lasted me a few more years.
I thought about what Trav had said, about wanting me to be happy. As I watched Talon headquarters disappear in my rearview, I couldn’t help but think of Sid with that familiar ache in my chest. The ache that had become my constant companion in the last few months. Only sporadic moments of levity had provided a welcome balm. I was determined to make the most of those moments, to cling to that happy, despite the grief threatening to pull me under.
I’d get there, eventually.
