His grip flexed on the steering wheel, the only giveaway that he’d heard me.
“I’m sorry that I’m a bit hesitant sometimes,” I continued. “I don’t know why that is.”
“Dec, muting the line,” he cut in, hitting the mute button on the phone. I was grateful, considering I’d forgotten Declan was even listening.
“Roger,” Declan replied.
Sid shot a look at me to continue.
I twisted my fingers in my lap. “I sometimes have a hard time getting close to people. I haven’t wanted to try. But with you… with you, I want to try,” I explained. “And I’m sorry you’re going to bear the brunt of my learning curve,” I told him as he looked over at me with warmth radiating from his gorgeous eyes. “I trust you. More than I’ve ever trusted anyone. I just….” I drew in a shaky breath. “I just… well, I might need a little help.”
He’d know how hard that was for me to admit.
His eyes softened as his hand reached for mine, squeezing firmly. “How many nightmares have you stayed with me through?” he asked quietly.
“A few.” I shrugged.
“A lot,” he corrected. “You’re the only person that I’d ever let see me like that.” The muscles in his forearms flexed as he gripped the wheel, his steel gaze shooting to the rearview mirror. “I started talking to someone. He specializes in PTSD. I’ve only had a few sessions, but it’s really helped me.”
My eyes shot wide in surprise.
“You know why after all these years I finally did it?” he pressed.
I shook my head.
“Because of you, Sam.” He let that sink in a moment before continuing. “Until I faced those demons, I wouldn’t be the man I want to be. I wouldn’t be the man you deserve.” He paused, his grip white on the wheel.
My pulse quickened as I digested his words. “You could never be anything but the man I deserve, Sid,” I answered firmly.
He smiled patiently. “Maybe that’s true. My point, babe, is that you helped me. More than you’ll ever know. I’m fucking thrilled to return the favor. We’ll help each other. We both have our darkness. We’ll just pull each other toward the light.”
I swallowed hard and managed to rasp out a quiet, “Yeah.”
His tone grew thoughtful, almost hesitant as he glanced at me before his eyes returned to the road. “We should talk about your folks, babe.”
“My folks?” I asked, confused.
“Honey, you’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever known. You can stitch together a song like no one else I’ve ever heard. But you don’t connect the pieces between your parents being completely aloof and your hesitancy with intimacy—of any kind.” He looked over at me again, a warm look that could only be described as love clear across his handsome face. “I can see by that shocked look on your face that the connection hadn’t occurred to you, sweetheart. I’m here to help you through that. But maybe not when we’re in the middle of a high-speed chase, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I managed.
Was he right? Hell, he might just be. Damn.
“It’s not like your parents are much better,” I commented, staring absently out the window as the traffic slowed around us.
Cade and Sid’s parents still lived somewhere in Texas. I’d never met them. All I knew was that there was a reason both boys had left the house as soon as possible, Sid for the Marines and Cade to whatever adventure would have him.
“Yeah, but I genuinely don’t give a damn. Cade and I let that shit go a long time ago. You haven’t. But you will.” His boyish grin melted my heart as he clasped my hand briefly before hitting the mute button on the phone.
“Back online, Dec.”
“Roger that.”
I looked out the window, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders. Despite the imminent danger behind us, I saw nothing but hope up ahead.
“I’m getting off,” Sid said, and I knew he was talking to Declan. “This traffic is bumper to bumper—I feel like a sitting fucking duck.”
“You’ve got an access road up ahead—take that, Theo will follow.”
