Chapter 12
After Travis had dropped me off, saying he’d be home in a few hours, I wandered his home, still marveling at how empty it felt. Finally, I launched into some yoga, hoping to center myself and take my mind off the call with Ryan.
By the time I heard the garage door open, I’d showered and was attempting to do something I rarely did, and almost never did well: I was cleaning.
“Em?” Travis’s tone was wary as he eyed me sweeping the broom across his hardwood floors.
“Able’s hair gets everywhere,” I grumbled.
“Em.” His tone was more forceful, trying to get me to look at him, but I knew if I did I’d lose it. Just hearing his voice was making a knot grow in my throat.
Suddenly the broom was taken gently from my hands as he tipped my chin up to look at me. “Talk to me, babe.” His dark eyes were so concerned for me, his tone so gentle that it broke the last vestiges of control I had left.
I burst into tears.
He pulled me into his chest holding me close. “Are you okay?” he demanded.
I nodded against his chest, unable to speak.
He wrapped an arm around me, guiding me toward the couch, where he pulled me into his lap. Able paced at his feet, clearly worried. I didn’t think he’d ever heard me cry. I curled up in a ball, relishing the feeling of Travis’s strong arms around me, of his heart beating under my cheek.
He held me patiently, waiting as I desperately tried to pull myself together. I couldn’t decide if vomiting in front of him or ugly crying onto his chest was worse.
Though I supposed vomit was never the choice if there was one.
I pulled back, wiping my eyes. “Sorry.” I exhaled on a rasp. “I thought I could hold it together, until I saw you.”
“It’s one of my gifts,” he replied dryly.
I smacked his chest. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
His expression was cautious and full of something close to hope when he spoke next. “How did you mean it?” The question clearly mattered to him—or at least the answer did.
It was so soon to share what I felt, but one look at him had me unable to do otherwise.
“I meant that I’m used to taking care of myself. And of others,” I murmured. “Growing up, I couldn’t afford to fall apart. I guess the habit just stuck.” I toyed with the frayed edge of his T-shirt cuff. I couldn’t meet his eye, and that little stubborn streak allowed me to continue. “One look at you, and I realized I could actually fall apart. That if I did, you’d help put the pieces back together.”
His hand lifted, tilting my chin so that I looked at him. “Always, Em,” he swore, his expression so earnest I had no choice but to believe it.
“Always is a long time,” I murmured.
“Yeah,” he agreed without hesitation.
The silence that followed stretched between us, and I knew I needed to keep going. In for a penny, in for a pound.
“Ryan and I had it all right growing up,” I began. “I didn’t have the easiest time making friends. The kids used to tease me about my wild hair and braces.” I winced at the memory of my gawky self. “Ryan used to get into fights with anyone who teased me. Even when he was just a little thing, he’d threaten the biggest and oldest kids. It never mattered to him.” I shook my head with a small smile at the memory. “My parents made sure we had what we needed. Enough food. Clothes. But they weren’t around a whole lot. To this day, I’m not sure if they loved us,” I mused distractedly. “Anyway, at the end of my junior year, they took off.”
Travis stiffened. “What do you mean, took off?” he demanded.
I shrugged. “They up and left. They left a note saying they were going on an extended vacation. Left us some money, and never came back.”
“Shit.” He swore vehemently. “Do you think something happened to them?”
“No,” I scoffed. “I think they were tired of being parents. They had shit timing, too. I was still only seventeen, and I couldn’t risk Ryan and me being separated, so we hid their absence. We kept up our normal routine, lived sparingly off the money they’d left us, and tried to keep up appearances. Once I turned eighteen, I applied to be his legal guardian.”
Travis continued to stroke my hair, his fingers sliding down my neck in a rhythmic gesture as he listened intently. “That’s a lot to take on,” he murmured.
“I didn’t think about it that way. Ryan and I were a team.”
