“I told you not to wait up.” He spoke dryly.
“Yeah, but?—”
“You good?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
He nodded without giving me a kiss or any kind of physical acknowledgement. Kier navigated through the dark of the room, taking off his jewelry and setting things down on the dresser. Moments later, he turned the shower on and got inside. When he got out, I angled my body toward him under the covers, propping myself up completely, then turned the light on.
“How was the rest of the night?”
“Cool,” he said. “Handled what I needed to.”
Again, very dry. He didn’t add any extra details or commentary. I let the silence sit for a second before speaking again. “What about your announcement?”
He glanced over at me while reaching for a t-shirt. “Went how it was supposed to.”
“I wasn’t there. What was it?” I asked.
“Just announced the Legacee album release date.”
“Oh.”
Neither of us said anything. I stared ahead for a second, then turned a fraction toward him. “Kier?—”
“I just want to sleep, Si.”
I was curious about Maya, and curious about where we were; but I didn’t say another word. Instead, I reached over, turning off the light. The room went dark, settling us into an eerie silence. I turned onto my side, facing away from him this time, pulling the covers up as I tried to get comfortable. He didn’t touch me or move closer. And for the first time since I’d met him, his actions didn’t feel impulsive. They felt intentional.
I don’t even thinkI slept longer than an hour. I tossed and turned all night, not fully being able to get comfortable. Once I realized the sun was rising, it was too late to fall asleep. My eyes burned, and the sheets were twisted around my legs. Kier gave me a dry “Good morning,” and went to the bathroom. I got up without saying anything, grabbed my things, and functioned around him like we were on separate tracks. We passed by one another twice without touching. He said he wanted to sleep, so I let him. I was done trying to fill the space. When he wanted to talk, he would have to come to me.
Naomi knocked on the door, and I had halfway forgotten that I was annoyed with her, too. She talked while we got ready, mentioning Houston, raving about the house, and about the session she had coming up. She behaved as if last night hadn’t happened. I answered when I had to, but I was short and to the point. I knew I was being bitchy, but I was distressed and agitated. I didn’t bother fixing it, either.
The drive to the studio was quiet. Naomi tried a couple times, throwing out comments, little jokes, anything to ease the air, but I barely engaged. I stared out the window, letting the city pass by without taking any of it in. Kier drove with his hand resting onmy thigh. That should have brought me comfort, but it didn’t. I didn’t lean into it this time because it felt more like weight than intimacy. I still felt a way, and I know he did, too.
When we arrived at the studio, I noticed a huge difference from the one in Malibu. No one was here but us three. It was quiet enough to hear every step. It felt more artistic as well. Graffiti art was hung on the walls. Even the furniture felt more artistic. I sat quietly on the couch while Kier walked Naomi into the booth. Naomi’s energy picked up the second we stepped inside. My sister was excited, and seeing that glimpse in her made me forgive her just a little.Just a little.
I watched as Kier gave instructions on headphones and other equipment in the booth. When he came back out, he put on a smooth, slow beat and told Naomi to freestyle whatever was on her mind. For a while, I watched both of them in their zone. Then I found myself checking emails from work. A while later, the music stopped, and Kier walked Naomi down the hall to have her work with someone else. When he returned, he pulled the seat out and tapped it.
“Come holla at me.” He said to me, I hesitated at first, but his tone sounded more welcoming, so I had a little hope. I got up, leaving my phone and purse on the couch, and sat in the chair across from him while he stared at me. “You gonna tell me what that was last night?” He asked.
“Kier, I’ve tried, twice at that. You weren’t trying to hear me.”
“Yesterday was a lot to take in in general. I’m hearing you now, Si, so speak your piece.”
I crossed my arms, more to hold myself steady than anything else. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“You said that already.”
“And I meant it.”
He watched me, and I couldn’t tell if he was trying to do his little eye trick or if he was really hearing me out. I exhaled slowly, continuing to explain the situation the best way I could.
“I didn’t invite Naomi out here. I mean I did, but that was a while ago. I invited her out here for sister time.”
“You think I have a problem with your sister being here?” He questioned.
“I know what the issue is. I didn’t tell Naomi you were gonna do anything for her. I told her you were a producer and that’s only because she was trying to figure out how I’d be jet-setting all summer. This whole studio and new artist stuff, she put together on her own and ran with it.”
