He brushed his thumb tenderly along my jaw. “Don’t take too long.”
“I won’t.”
six
. . .
Twelve hours later,I was back and ready to get my ducks in a row. My first stop was my sister’s place. I brought over croissants and coffee, hoping she wasn’t still holding on to me missing our date. When I walked in, she didn’t even give me a hug, just took the bag and coffee from me, immediately sipping on it.
“So, little sister, are you still running up behind some rapper?”
“He’s not a rapper, Naomi, he’s a producer.”
“Same thing. You shouldn’t have come home. I bet there’s all kinds of half-naked women in and out of the studio. Doing whatever they can to make an impression on him.”
“You think so?” I questioned her. Up until that very moment, I’d felt special. Like he chose me in a crowd full of models. But Naomi planted the seed of doubt in my head, which had me questioning him and looking at her sideways.
“Isn’t that how you got his attention? Wearing next to nothing when he first met you?”
“Oh, girl please!” I waved, brushing her off. Naomi could be so negative at times. I had enough going on and wasn’t going to let her ruin it. “Listen, I came by to get some sister time in. I’mheading back out of town in a couple of days. Just wanted to see if you needed anything before I did, so I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”
“Naw, you go ahead. Do you. Don’t forget the people who helped you get to where you are, while you are running up behind this random man.” She scoffed.
“And where am I, Naomi? I really hate when you try to run the guilt trip on me. I wasn’t driving the car that killed mama and daddy. I also didn’t ask you to pass up college to take care of me.”
“See this is why you don’t do shit for folks. They’ll remind you that they never asked you to. You’re ungrateful, Sibley. The first chance you get, you leave me.”
“I appreciate everything you have done for me, and I mean everything. But I pull myself back so you can get the rest of your life back. I don’t need you to protect me, I don’t need you to worry about me, and you don’t need to continuously remind me that you put college on the back burner as well as your hopes and dreams to ‘raise me’. Auntie Pat welcomed me with open arms, but you, being the savior that you are, chose to stay back and help.”
“I’m supposed to be in New York, singing, living my dreams. Instead, I’m stuck at a dead-end job, only a high school diploma, and for what? For you to live the life that I am supposed to be living?”
“Quiet as it’s kept, Naomi, you got comfortable and forgot your dreams. That’s not my fault.”
“As I said, ungrateful.”
It always went like this. Naomi kept score, and I carried guilt. Somewhere along the way, we both convinced ourselves that I owed her a life she never went back to claim. It was truly exhausting.
She was single and had no kids. Naomi could come and go as she pleased, just like me. Why she chose not to was lost upon me. I wanted to ease the tension before I left again, so I decided to once again be the peacemaker.
“Kier said he’ll do whatever he can to keep me with him this summer. He’s already invited Treasure and Tara out. Why don’t you fly back with me? We could use some sister time, a sister vacay, some fun in the sun for sure. I can call him now and let him know you’ll be with us for a couple of days.”
“Unfortunately, Sibley, I have bills to pay. So, while you are jet-setting, I will be back here, managing Sephora.”
Naomi wanted me to beg her, but I refused to play her game and do that. “Okay, the invitation stands.”
Extending my arms out for a hug, I waited for her to accept my embrace. Instead, she continued to browse on her phone. I grabbed my coffee and left. This was the same script on a different day with Naomi. I loved my sister, but she was truly exhausting. She wanted to be continuously patted on her back and blame everybody for her forgotten dreams when she needed to hold herself accountable.
Our parents passed when I was 16, and she was 18. Naomi was set to go off to Juilliard. She’d gotten a full ride to the Vocal Arts Department, and I was excited for her. We were both grieving, but I never expected her to stay. I don’t know if she stayed out of love, loyalty, or guilt. Either way, when I turned 18, she could have pursued her dreams just like I did. We’re both in our 30’s, and I am getting blamed for living the life I want, and the life she chose to live.
Eventually, night fell, and my first day back had stressed me out. Settling into bed, I weighed my options. Like Kier, I wanted this to be a quick trip. I planned to go to work to pitch them an idea that would keep me working but gone all summer as well.I hoped it worked. I texted Treasure, waiting to see when she planned on coming back. Before she responded, Kier texted me.
Mr. Producer:
It’s lonely without you here.
Me:
Yeah yeah, it’s only been a few hours. I know you got a million things you could be doing.
