“Right. So, Hughie will be joining us as my unofficial TA the rest of the semester. I’m helping out a friend of mine.”
“His maybe boyfriend,” Hughie says, wiggling his eyebrows. This gets a few laughs from the students.
Lily, who sits two seats down from me, raises her hand. “You told us you didn’t have a boyfriend.”
Hughie leans forward. “It’s new.”
“Okay. Hughie. We JUST had a conversation about boundaries on Sunday. And, despite what Hughie says, he shouldn’t be speculating on what goes on between his uncle and I.”
“But,” Samuel says, directly across the circle, “how does he even know you are a maybe boyfriend?” I put my head down on my desk. “Ahh, Daniel! Hughie here caught you staying over! You dog.”
I lift my head to find Hughie subtly nodding his head. “Alright, let’s get back on topic or you all fail this class. I am changing the syllabus effective today.” I stand up and start passing out the new Nic Stone books that arrived last night. “I am switching out Irene McAllister’s books with these three from Nic Stone, the cost of the books on me. I remember what it was like being at university, so I’m not indebting you any further than I already have.”
Lily raises her hand again. “Have to ask. Why the switch?”
I point to Hughie. “It actually was inadvertently his decision, based on some feedback.”
Hughie looks at me and I nod. “She’s my Grandmom and I told Danny her books aren’t that great.”
“And,” I put a stack in front of Lily, “if her own grandson can’t vouch for the quality, how can I? Bonus is that the NicStone books are significantly shorter reads than McAllister’s so you technically have less work to do. You can thank me later.”
I circle back to my seat, holding up today’s discussion book. “Let’s talk Zentner. I toyed with us reading his books in order of publication, but instead you’re enjoying them the same way I did. What do we think withGoodbye Daysas your introduction to one of my favorite authors?”
“It’s jarring going from reading something like Hemingway to this.” Delilah says, flipping through the pages of the book. “There’s something about the raw emotion that hits in this book. Which I find is something typical in the young adult novels, at least the good ones. The characters are so relatable. Well, not relatable in that I’ve had a best friend die, but I could see myself in how Carver deals with his grief.”
“My best friend died just after Christmas last year.” Noah says quietly.
“My condolences Noah,” I say, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.
“How’d they die?” Hughie asks. I temporarily forgot a child was also part of this discussion. Shit.
“Noah, you don’t—”
“It’s okay Daniel.” Noah sniffles, facing Hughie with tears in his eyes. “He, erm…died of cancer. It was something he battled over and over as we grew up. It was surprising and not surprising all at the same time. We just…we just thought he had finally beat it for good.”
Hughie gets up from his chair and walks over to Noah. After reaching into his pocket, Hughie produces a tissue for Noah.
“Thanks lil’ dude.” Noah blots his eyes while Hughie returns to his seat. “But the reason I bring it up, is that it inspired me to do my own little goodbye day with his parents. Last night we went to what was his favorite pub and ordered hisfavorite meal, drank his go-to cider. Multiple of his ciders. Then went back to their place and watched his favorite film. It wasn’t a big thing, but reading this reminded me I haven’t reached out to them since he died.”
“They must have appreciated that a lot,” Lily says.
Noah smiles. “They did. They actually want me to come over for dinner this weekend. I think people get kinda lost in their own grief that they lose sight on what others are going through. I saw his parents more than my own, and I got the impression that they also had missed me too.”
Like what I did to everyone around me, including Niall.
Now Hughie is standing at my desk, tissue hovering in front of my face. I notice the sadness on his face when he hands it to me. I take the tissue and frantically wipe my face. Emotions torn between the thoughtfulness of this kid and how unprofessional it is to lose it in front of my students.
I look around and most students are looking at me, some avoiding awkward eye contact. “I…I lost my best friend not too long before coming to Dublin. In May, actually. He had been my best friend my whole life, and had been my roommate for over ten years. He was struck by a drunk driver.”
“Michael,” Hughie says, still hovering by my side. “Uncle Niall was sad too after. He told me about him.”
I try to smile for him. “That’s right. Michael was also Uncle Niall’s friend.”
Hughie comes around the desk and gives me a hug, his hand rubbing circles on the back of my shirt. A tactic learned from his uncle.
I break away from Hughie. “So, while this has gone a bit off the rails, I think the important thing I wanted to start the Zentner lesson with is that he is great at bringing out feelings.”
“Feeling things sucks,” Lily says, her eyes also a bit red.
