“You are unbelievable. I’m gonna get out of here, because if I stay any longer, I might really kill your ass. As much as I want to act like I’m surprised, I knew this day would come. Shit with us was always too good to be true, and I knew the other shoe would drop eventually. I wish I had never gotten involved with you in the first place.” Lyric tried to walk off, but I grabbed her arm to hold her back.
“Wait a minute. We need to talk about this. You’re reacting off of emotions without trying to hear what I have to say.” The factthat I was standing there pleading with her with a fucked-up eye and bloody nose pissed me off.
“I don’t want to talk right now. I’m not in the right mental space to deal with any of this. I’m gonna pack a bag and go stay with my brother for a little while.”
“And then what?” I swear, it felt like I was living in the mothafuckin’ twilight zone, and I was waiting for someone to jump out and tell me it was all a prank. The blank expression on Lyric’s face was a humbling reminder that it wasn’t.
“I can’t think past right now. I’ll call and see if granny can keep Noodle for a few extra days; that way you can go see her whenever you want.” Her statement blew my mind, and I chuckled angrily as I stared at her.
“My daughter has a home, and it ain’t with my granny. If you aren’t in the right space to take care of her, then I will, but you’re not about to pawn her off on someone else.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m not gonna argue with you, so do what you want.”
Lyric walked out of the room and headed into the spare room. I could have chased her and begged her to stay, but I was tired both literally and figuratively. No matter how hard I tried to love her, she pushed me away. I was tired of fighting to love her while she fought me in return. Mentally, I was drained, and I wanted to believe maybe a few days apart would do us some good.
After she gathered her things, I helped her carry her bags to the car. I let her know to call me if she needed something, then turned to head into the house. Her lips were poked out, and I knew her ass was disappointed because she thought I was gonna chase her and beg her to stay. I was done with all of that shit. If she wanted things to work, she would have to put in some effort.
I watched her pull off from the window, then headed back to my room. My head shook when I saw all of the damage they had done to my room. In all of my years of fucking bitches, I hadnever experienced anything like that before. I still couldn’t even believe it happened. I planned to catch up on some rest, and then I would be paying her homegirl a visit. It was obvious she thought that I was someone to play with, and I needed to make sure she understood how dangerous her decision was.
“Are you sure everything is okay with you?” Keynauri probed.
He had asked me the same question ten different ways since I showed up at his place three days ago. I told him that I was getting some maintenance done at my place, and I wanted to give the workers space. It was a dumb-ass excuse, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
“Why do you keep asking me that?” I sat at his kitchen island, demolishing a bowl of butter pecan ice cream. I moaned at how delicious it tasted with each spoonful and wanted to slap myself for only getting one pint.
“Something is off with you. To be honest, it’s been off for a while. I thought I was tripping when I was locked up, but you’re keeping something from me. I don’t know what it is or why, but I can feel it. We’ve always been connected on a deeper level, which is why I know something isn’t right with you. What’s up?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to keep my eyes anywhere except on him. There were too many secrets to tell, and I didn’t have a clue where to even begin.
“You can look away all you want, but I want answers. All this sneaky shit has me looking at you sideways. You might be grown, but I still want to know what’s going on with you.”
“There isn’t much to tell. I’m figuring life out, Nauri. I go through what every normal young woman goes through in life. Life can be hard at times, but I promise it’s nothing for you to worry about.” I tried to sound confident, but the ache in my chest had me second-guessing.
“Well, what issues are you having? You know if it’s monetary, I’ve got you covered. If some little nigga is playing with your heart, I’ll run down on him. What’s up?”
I appreciated how ready he was to stand up for me, but I wasn’t so sure I deserved it. My shoulders dropped in defeat as I thought about everything I had been dealing with the last few days. The day after I caught East and Valor fucking, I got up and took my ass right to the abortion clinic. The guilt had been eating me alive, and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I’d made a mistake.
“I was dating this guy, and things didn’t work out. I really cared about him, but shit went left. A part of me is angry, but there’s another part of me that feels like I wasn’t good enough for him anyway.” I was vague, but honest.
“What makes you think you weren’t good enough?”
“I’ve been through a lot of shit, and he was really patient with me, but I felt like he wanted me to be something I’m not. I’ve had so much stripped from me, and I just want to live my life. I know you don’t care for the club hosting, but I love it. I love being an influencer and making content. I love getting sexy and throwing ass in the club with my girls. Being a mother has been one of the biggest blessings in my life, but that isn’t all I am.” I wiped tears from my eyes because I was tired of crying.
“Do you think it’s something the two of you can work through? It sounds like the two of you might be on different pages, but it’snot impossible to work through if you both establish boundaries and are willing to compromise.”
“Naw, some other shit went down, and there’s no coming back from it. I guess you can say I’m going through my first true heartbreak, and I’m not sure how to handle it. He hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to say he didn’t love me. I know he did.”
The dull ache in my chest came back. I never knew heartbreak could take on a physical form, but I was miserable and sick to my stomach. It didn’t help that I was also grieving the loss of a child I would never get to meet. I was supposed to upload a new vlog from the pool party, but I hadn’t been able to drag myself out of bed in order to edit the content.
Mendeecees had been on my ass to make sure I showed up to his music video, so I knew I couldn’t stay in a funk for long.
“I know your sneaky ass isn’t gonna tell me shit else, so I’ll let it go for now. All I ask is that you come to me if you’re in trouble or someone fucks with you. I love you, Boogie.”
“I love you too.”
My phone buzzed, and I saw it was a call from East. I declined it, but he called right back. I ignored it, but then I got a video call from a number I didn’t recognize. I put my headphones in and answered the call after Keynauri left the kitchen.
I damn near fell out of my seat when I saw Valor crying, tied to a chair, in what appeared to be some kind of warehouse or storage unit. Mascara stained her cheeks, and her eyes were puffy and red. When the camera moved away from her, I gasped when I saw the masked man staring on the other side of the screen.
