“I thought her chin was weird too!” Augusta confessed.
“Okay, can we not do that again?” Colin looked relieved.
“Lots of couples watch porn together. But maybe we’d like more high-end porn? With a better set design and lighting?”
“The black countertops were horrible, right?” Colin grinned.
“Oh my God, YES!” Augusta clapped her hands together.
“Why don’t we just talk about what we like?” Colin looked at Augusta hopefully. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Oh.” Colin made it sound so simple. For months, really years, Augusta had been trying to guess what he was thinking, what he wanted, deep down. Maybe it was that simple, though. Maybe she could just ask him. “Okay.” She turned to face her husband. “I have some questions for you.”
Apple Press
The rest of September passed in a blur of beach days with sweatshirts and towels draped across legs, dinners on the porch where the sun set by seven, last rides in the boat before they pulled it out for the season. Then it was Bailey’s birthday with a cookout at Budweiser Manor, and the mad rush of packed lunches and new backpacks and the suddenrealization that all Charlie’s pants were shin-length since he had grown like a weed. Augusta went to see Eben’s baby at least twice a week. They had named her Issa, short for Isabel, in honor of Eben’s grandmother, and Max was already teaching the baby French, committed to raising her completely bilingual.
“You can tell she’s smart,” Augusta’s mother insisted. “I’ve never seen a baby so alert this young.”
“Hey!” Augusta objected, but she didn’t mean it. Her mother had spent eight years maintaining that Augusta’s children were the most brilliant, beautiful creatures on the planet. It was only fair that Issa had a turn. When Augusta’s father and Samantha visited the baby, bringing a silver rattle from Tiffany, as useless as it was expensive, Samantha sat on Eben’s couch and asked him if the birth parents were “good-looking people,” and Augusta had to leave the room to avoid a fit of giggles.
For HalloweenAugusta made costumes for the children: a witch outfit for Jane, a green shiny dragon’s cape for Charlie, and a mermaid costume for Beatrix, the whole thing studded with purple and turquoise rhinestones. Beatrix tore after Charlie like a wobbly drunk, crashing into the doorframes and falling on her bedazzled mermaid bum.
Russell Orchards had a Halloween party with hayrides, a petting zoo, and mulled cider and everyone dressed up for it, a hundred kids in Spiderman and Elsa costumes hopped up on sugar, chasing the geese and poking the sheep while their parents tried to alternately scold them and take their pictures. Fran and RJ were there with the boys, Hale reprising his role as a sexy ladybug, and London something called a “Charizard” that he insisted was “really valuable.” The other adultstook the big kids off to get in line for the hayride, and Augusta wandered aimlessly with Beatrix, letting her tumble gently in the dry grass and hold on to fence posts, squatting up and down and looking thrilled with herself.
Augusta spotted her brother by the rabbit hutch, carrying baby Issa in a sling and eating something out of a wax paper bag, dropping crumbs on her head.
“Shit—I’ve lost half my scone down there.” Eben grimaced.
“Is she sleeping?” Augusta peeked in. Issa’s eyes were closed, her squishy little cheek pressed against Eben’s crumb-covered chest.
“Yeah, last night she slept for five hours, and all the parenting sites say that counts as ‘sleeping through the night.’ ”
“Congratulations?”
“Max got up with her, so he’s home napping.”
“That’s good because I actually wanted to talk just the two of us,” said Augusta. She felt like they should sit down for this, but between Beatrix trying to stick her fingers in the rabbit hutch and Issa on Eben’s chest she’d just have to do it standing. “I wanted to apologize for everything with Dad. I know it was awkward when I took money from him for my wedding.”
“Oh.” Eben shook his head. “I’m the one who’s sorry. There’s just been so much unsaid between us, and it compounded to a place where I felt like if I started trying to talk to you, I didn’t even know what I might let slip.”
“Because Colin asked you to keep your history private.”
“I had to honor that, Augusta. I know it seems messed up, but Colin didn’t want to come out. I had to observe his rules. I’m never going to out someone who isn’t ready.”
“But what about your loyalty to me? I’m your sister.”
“I know. Maybe I got it wrong. It was a lose-lose situation.”
“I get that.”
“And then the baby thing added more distance between us,” Eben confessed.
“The baby thing?”
“Max and I wanted a baby so much. But it was such a hard process, researching surrogates, learning about egg donors, hiring a reproductive attorney. And then we heard more and more horror stories about surrogates and Max got cold feet and so we started trying to adopt and the whole time I just felt so frustrated. I think it’s the way women might feel when they’re having fertility struggles and all their friends are getting pregnant by accident. I saw you and Colin having these beautiful children without thinking twice and it felt so unfair to me, and we weren’t in a place where I could say that, so part of me sort of closed off.”
“You’ve had a lot on your plate.” Augusta gently pried a dirty candy wrapper out of Beatrix’s fingers and Beatrix shrieked in outrage before grabbing a handful of dirt and rubbing it on her face. “Can I ask you something? Did you still have feelings for Colin when he and I started dating?”
