Cash.
Jelani.
Mama.
I called my mother back first.
She answered immediately. “‘Taine,” she sniffled, I could hear she’d been crying.
“Mama, where are you?” I asked, grabbing my jeans off the chair.
“The hospital,” she said quickly. “Your sister?—”
“I know,” I interjected. “They just called me. Where’s Gunnar?”
I cradled the phone between my shoulder and ear while I pulled on my jeans. The room flooded with warm light when Nairobi turned on the bedside lamp. I squinted against it, trying to stay focused.
“He’s still at the house,” Mama said. “I called Ms. Linda from next door to come sit with him. He was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up and get him upset.”
“Okay, okay.” I inhaled deeply. It didn’t fix thetightness that had settled into my chest, but it took one fear off the table. “I’m headed over there now.”
“Okay, son,” she whispered, voice trembling.
I hung up and dialed Cash.
“‘Bout time you answered,” he said as soon as he picked up.
“What the fuck is going on?” I asked, not ready to hear any more bad news. “I just got a call saying my sister’s in the hospital because of an explosion. Why you been blowing up my phone?”
Cash exhaled hard on the other end.
“The explosion… it was the safe house.”
“The safe house? The words didn’t make sense at first. Why would Drea be at the safe house, she shouldn’t even have known where it was. My mind tried to reject the truth until it couldn’t. “Slim?” My voice cracked on his name.
There was a pause long enough to confirm it before Cash spoke again.
“He’s gone, bruh,” Cash said, and his voice broke. “Would’ve been Drea too, but she was in her car.”
My fist clenched so hard I felt my nails dig into my palms. Heat rushed up my neck, bile burned in my throat. Beside me, Nairobi was sitting up now, fully awake and watching me intently.
“Cash…” My voice came out smaller than I wanted. “Don’t tell me this is Messiah.”
“We—” Cash cleared his throat. “Look, go see about your sister.”
“How the fuck we handling this, yo?” I snapped. “Drea… Slim. I’m not about to?—”
“Not on the phone,” he cut me off. “Me and Lani about to go see Slim’s grandmother. We’ll talk in person.”
There was a pressure buildingbehind my eyes and it pissed me off more than anything—I couldn’t fall apart. I had to hold it together for my mama, my nephew.
“Alright,” I forced out.
I stood there, breathing hard like that would help me hold it together.
Nairobi sat up the instant I put the phone down. She crossed over to my side of the bed, and put her hand on my back, its warmth trying to anchor me even though the world was slipping.
“Bear?” she said softly.
