“He what!?” Nadya hissed through clenched teeth. “He doesn’t deserve you, you know.”
“But that was a lifetime ago. How is it possible for someone to fake it formonths? And to fake what felt so real.”
“A lifetime for you. Open your eyes, Delia, he’s an immortal. Months would feel like a few seconds for him, years merely days. You must realise that the fantasies you’ve built in your head could never be. He has infinite coin and infinite time, and you—you’re merely a servant, just like me. To you, he might be awholechapter in your book, but to him, you’re just one line in a library made of infinite books.”
I swallowed. A hollow ache spread through me, dark and silent as the Seer’s lair.
“What?” I asked, noticing contemplation in Nadya’s brown eyes.
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“I really don’t want to…but you know how I suck at keeping things from you.” She pursed her lips, clearly regretting her words. “The last thing I want is to put you in harm’s way, I—”
“Tell me,” I urged.
“Well, it’s too late now anyway, so I guess no harm—”
“Too late? Too late for what? Just tell me.”
Nadya let out an exhale through puffed cheeks. “When the meeting ended, Lord Hailin asked for you. He asked me to tell you to hurry to the tall house and to bring with you the green box. He said you’ll find it in his room beneath your first. Whatever that means.”
“He—he’s already in the tall house? With her? He’s in the fucking breeding house? I’m going to throw up.”
“Don’t you dare break yourself apart for him. No man is worth that much, especially one who thinks so poorly of you.”
My head shook. “I don’t want to go up there. I—I cannot. I’d fall apart…I—”
“You don’t have to worry about that, at least not for the next few weeks. The tall house’s doors are now locked and guarded. No one can come in or out unless they’re a Sand Priestess, or that old healer…orTomas. Can you believe it?” Nadya snorted. “They appointed Tomas of all people to serve them—and both Lord Hailin and Princess Maryam cannot come down from the tall house until her next bleeding, or until she becomes with ch—What I mean is, you have plenty of time to—”
“I know what a conceiving ritual is.” My words came out harsh, yet Nadya was the one who said, “I’m sorry.”
“Donottell anyone,” I warned.
“Of course not, your secret is safe with me. But if he tries to harm y—”
“That’s not what I meant. What we heard during that meeting is dangerous information. Swear it. Swear you won’t mention one word about what we heard.”
“What’s happening, Delia?” Her voice was a far cry from her earlier strong and encouraging tone. It morphed into one tainted with fear and questions. “Why does the Ice King want to ally with Ramel?”
“It’s—it’s only a precaution. In case the Fire King decides to break his promise of peace. Don’t worry too much about it,” I said, giving Nadya the same void reassurance that Aegir had given me. She nodded in understanding but her eyes conveyed otherwise. “Swear it,” I repeated. “Not one word to anyone, it’s for your own safety, other people’s safety.”
“I swear it,” she promised. And I hoped she would keep it. I loved Nadya dearly and I did trust her, but sometimes—sometimes her tongue spoke before her mind was done filtering, which was why I could never tell her any of my deepest secrets.
My lips pursed and I nodded, then shifted onto my side, giving her my back. She held me from around my waist. The embrace was somehow familiar, yet so different. It felt wrong—so wrong it angered me, forcing me to ask her to go to her own bed. I felt a shred of guilt for sending her away but I couldn’t feel the sensation of anyone holding me. I wanted to curl inward.
“Haste, child. Haste.” My swollen eyes lifted.
It didn’t take me long to pack that following morning. Or was it still that same night? Dawn had yet to break.
My legs dragged all the way to the second floor. Eldric didn’t answer his door. He was probably still out there, surveying the skies for potential threats.
Looking at the bed we’d shared two nights ago, still unmade, came with a heart-crushing ache. I felt emptier than the bottom drawer of the dresser. In return, I placed the red dress inside,neatly folded, and shoved the drawer shut. It reminded me too much of him. Twice, I wore it—one time when he surprised me with dinner, the other when he bit on my neck. I wouldnotbe takingthatwith me.
Yes…I was leaving.
My “conversation” with the soul-eater left me more confused than anything. None of the Seer’s riddled words seemed to make any sense. But one thing was clear as day. I had to go back to where I used to play with the horses. And that was two days away. Which meant, I needed supplies.
