The questions hit harder than I’d expected, forcing me to confront realities I’d been trying to avoid thinking about. “I don’tknow,” I admitted. “But does that mean we shouldn’t explore this now?”
“It means we should be realistic about what this is,” he said, but I caught the way his grip tightened on the edge of his desk. “Physical attraction. Sexual compatibility. Nothing more.”
The words stung, even though I could hear the uncertainty beneath them. He was trying to protect us both, to keep this simple and contained. But the way he was looking at me suggested it was already too late for simple.
“Is that really all you think this is?” I asked, taking a step closer to the desk. “Just physical?”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment I thought he might actually answer honestly. Then he seemed to catch himself, that careful professional mask sliding back into place.
“What else could it be, Archer? We barely know each other.”
“Then let’s get to know each other,” I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “These private lessons... make them real. Teach me about vampire history, about your experiences, about what it’s been like living for centuries. And maybe... maybe I can tell you about what it’s like being trapped in a family that sees you as nothing more than a political asset.”
I saw something shift in his expression, a crack in that careful composure. For just a moment, he looked almost lonely. Like the idea of having someone to actually talk to, someone who wanted to know him beyond the professional facade, was more tempting than he wanted to admit.
“Archer...” he started, then stopped, running a hand through his dark hair.
“I know you feel it too,” I pressed, emboldened by that moment of vulnerability. “Whatever this is between us. It’s not just about sex, is it?”
The silence stretched between us, heavy with unspoken truths and possibilities neither of us quite knew how to navigate.I could see the internal battle playing out across his features. His desire was warring with his responsibility, his longing fighting against centuries of learned caution.
Finally, he moved out from behind the desk, closing the distance between us with those fluid movements that never failed to make my pulse quicken. But instead of reaching for me like I’d expected, he stopped just close enough that I could feel the cool air that seemed to surround him.
“You have no idea what you’re asking for,” he said, his voice rough with something that sounded almost like pain. “The complications, the risks, the way this could destroy both our lives if it goes wrong.”
“Then teach me,” I whispered, my heart hammering against my ribs. “Help me understand. But don’t push me away because you’re scared.”
His amber eyes flashed at that, a dangerous glint that reminded me exactly what kind of creature I was dealing with. “Scared?” he repeated, his voice dropping to a near-growl. “You think I’m scared of a college student?”
“I think you’re scared of what I make you feel,” I said, surprised by my own boldness. “I think you’re scared because for the first time in centuries, someone is asking you to let them in instead of just taking what they want and leaving.”
The words hit their mark. I saw it in the way his pupils dilated, in the sudden tension that coiled through his frame like a predator preparing to strike. For a moment, I thought I might have pushed too far.
“You’re partially right,” he said at last. “But there’s more to it than that.”
“Then tell me,” I urged. “Let’s not keep secrets from one another.”
Valen let out a long sigh, his hand coming up to rest gently on the back of my neck. “I… I’ve been feeding off of you. Without your permission.”
I was surprised he admitted it, but not surprised by the information. “It’s the sexual energy thing, isn’t it?” I asked. “The one you talked about in class?”
His hand tightened slightly on my neck, and I could feel the tension radiating from his body. “Yes,” he said quietly. “Every time we’ve been together, I’ve been... sustaining myself from your arousal, your pleasure. It’s involuntary to some extent, but I should have told you.”
I studied his face, seeing the guilt and uncertainty written there. He was waiting for me to be angry, to feel violated or used. But honestly? The idea that I’d been feeding him, nourishing him in some fundamental way, sent a thrill through me from head to toe.
“How does it work exactly?” I asked, genuinely curious. “Do I taste different than other people?”
His amber eyes widened slightly, clearly not the reaction he’d been expecting. “You’re not angry?”
“Should I be?” I countered. “I mean, you said it was mutually beneficial in class. Did it hurt me somehow?”
“No,” he said quickly. “If anything, it probably enhanced your experience. The feedback loop between vampire and donor can intensify everything for both parties.”
That explained a lot, actually. The way I’d felt with him had been unlike anything I’d experienced before. It was far more intense, more overwhelming, like every nerve ending had been dialed up to eleven.
“And the taste thing?” I pressed, stepping closer until there was barely any space between us.
Valen’s grip on my neck shifted, his thumb brushing against my pulse point in a way that made me shiver. “You’re...extraordinary,” he admitted, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper. “Rich, complex. Like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Most people provide basic sustenance, but you...” He trailed off, shaking his head.
