“Even if he doesn’t report me intentionally,” I said, “he could let something slip. Tell a friend, mention it to his sister. These things have a way of getting out.”
“So talk to him.” Lila made it sound so simple. “Explain the situation. Make sure you’re both on the same page.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
Because every time I thought about being alone with Archer again, my body remembered exactly how he’d felt pressed against me in that alley. Because I was terrified that if I got too close to him, I’d do something incredibly stupid like try to kiss him again. Because the smart, responsible thing to do was maintain distance and pretend Saturday night had never happened.
“Because it’s inappropriate,” I said instead. “He’s my student.”
“He’s your fencing team captain now,” Lila corrected. “And you’re gonna have to be able to work with him. There’s no getting around that.”
“I can deal with him at practice,” I replied. “But Lila… I… I don’t think I can deal with him more than that. Not without… doing somethingstupid.”
“There it is,” she said, sighing like she’d been waiting for it the entire time. “The truth at last.”
I stared at her, my jaw clenched so tight I was probably about to crack a tooth. “What truth?”
“That you’re not just worried about your job or your reputation,” she said, settling back onto the couch with that infuriating knowing smile. “You’re worried that if you get within ten feet of him again, you’ll throw all your precious self-control out the window.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” Lila tilted her head, studying me like I was a particularly interesting specimen. “Tell me, when’s the last time you fed off someone and still wanted more afterward? When’s the last time you spent days thinking about a single encounter?”
Never. The answer was never, and we both knew it. In three centuries of existence, I’d perfected the art of taking what I needed and moving on without looking back. Sexual energy was sustenance, nothing more. But Archer...
“He was different,” I admitted reluctantly. “The connection was... more intense than usual.”
“Intense enough that you’re still thinking about him days later, even though you’re convinced he’s going to ruin your life?”
I didn’t answer, but my silence was apparently confirmation enough for Lila. She leaned back with a satisfied expression, like she’d just solved a particularly challenging puzzle.
“You know what I think?” she said. “I think you’re terrified because for the first time in centuries, you actually care about someone. And caring makes you vulnerable in ways you haven’t had to deal with since you were human.”
“I don’t care about him,” I said automatically. “I barely know him.”
“Right. That’s why you’ve been pacing holes in your floor and jumping at shadows for two days straight.” She stood up, smoothing down her clothes. “Look, Valen, I get it. Feeling something real is scary as hell when you’ve spent centuriesavoiding it. But hiding from him isn’t going to make those feelings go away. If anything, it will probably make them worse.”
“Even if you’re right,” I said, which I wasn’t admitting she was, “it doesn’t change anything. He’s still my student. There are still rules.”
“Rules made by humans who live for maybe eighty years if they’re lucky,” Lila pointed out. “You’re immortal. He’s an adult. And from what I saw in that fencing salle, the attraction is very mutual.”
The memory of Archer’s hands in my hair, the little gasps he’d made when I’d touched him, sent heat coursing through me. I pushed it aside ruthlessly.
“It doesn’t matter. Even if I wanted to pursue something with him, which I don’t,” I added quickly, “his family would never approve. You heard him mention his parents. Old magical bloodlines don’t exactly embrace vampire-witch relationships.”
“So don’t tell them.” Lila shrugged like it was the most obvious solution in the world. “Have your fun, enjoy each other’s company, and what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
“And when someone inevitably finds out? When it becomes academy gossip? When it reaches the Elder Council?” I shook my head. “I’ve worked too hard to build a life here to throw it away for a student.”
“A student you’ve already slept with,” she reminded me helpfully. “Multiple times, if I recall your rather detailed account correctly.”
Heat crept up my neck. “That was before I knew who he was.”
“The damage is already done, Valen. If he wanted to destroy you, he could do it whether you pursue him or not.” Lila moved toward the door, then paused with her hand on the knob. “The question is whether you’re going to spend the rest of your very long life wondering what might have been, or if you’re goingto take a chance on something that might actually make you happy.”
She let herself out before I could respond, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the lingering scent of her perfume. I slumped back in my chair, running my hands through my hair.
