“Well, lawyer Cal, why don’t we fix that?” He guided me gently toward the edge of the pool where there was a low bench built of natural stone. “Sit there, relax, and let me take care of you.”
My cock twitched. “What do you plan to do?”
“Why don’t we figure that out together?” He took a seat next to me, his shoulder brushing against mine. “What do you miss most from being with someone? Be honest.”
I thought for a long moment, staring down at the water rippling around us. What did I miss most? What about my last relationship made me feel like it was worth having? What had I been missing all this time without realizing it?
“Th-There were times,” I began, feeling the fear welling up in my belly at what I was about to reveal. “There were times when my ex would fuck me really soft and slow. And when he did, I felt… Well, I feltloved. More loved than I’ve ever felt again.” I paused, unable to look at Keiran. “I… I miss that.”
I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. “That is truly a beautiful feeling,” he replied. There wasn’t a single ounce of judgment in his voice. But there was, I thought, a hint of respect for saying something so profoundly true. “Would you like me to make love to you, Cal?” He asked simply. “You’re very beautiful, and I would be honored to serve you in that way.”
I stared at him, my heart hammering against my ribs. The way he said it… that he would behonoredto serve me… It made something deep in my chest flutter and ache at the same time. When was the last time anyone had spoken to me like that? Like I was worth something beyond my billing rate and my ability to structure a deal?
"I..." I started, then stopped. The word yes was right there, sitting in my throat, but I couldn't seem to get it out. Not because I didn't want it. God, I wanted it more than I'd wanted anything in years. But because wanting something that much felt dangerous. Like admitting to a weakness I'd spent so long learning to hide, and to a stranger no less.
Kieran must have seen the war happening on my face, because he shifted closer, his hand coming to rest on my thigh under the water. The touch was warm and grounding, but there was nothing demanding about it.
"What are you afraid of?" he asked gently.
What was I afraid of? That I'd forgotten how to be touched with tenderness? That I'd cry, or break apart, or discover that the person I used to be before the job ate me alive was gone for good? That I'd like it so much I wouldn't be able to go back to my careful, controlled, empty life afterward?
All of the above, probably.
"I don't know how to do this anymore," I admitted. "I don't know how to just... let someone..."
"Let someone what?"
"Take care of me." The words came out barely above a whisper. "I haven't let anyone take care of me in so long, I'm not sure I remember how. I don’t even know how to take care of myself anymore."
Kieran's thumb moved in a slow circle on my thigh. "It's not something you have to remember how to do, Cal. It's something you have to allow yourself to receive."
He leaned closer, his breath warm against my ear. "All you have to do is say yes. I'll do the rest."
I closed my eyes and felt something in my chest crack open. Not breaking, exactly. More like a door I'd kept locked for years finally giving way.
"Yes," I whispered.
Kieran made a soft sound of approval, and then his mouth was on my neck, pressing gentle kisses along the line of my throat. His lips were warm and soft, and when his tongue darted out to taste my skin, I shivered despite the warmth of the water.
"You taste like stress," he murmured against my collarbone, and I felt him smile. "We'll have to do something about that."
His hands moved to my shoulders, turning me so I was facing him. Up close, his eyes were even more striking. They were definitely more gold than brown, with flecks of green that caught the filtered light. His horns curved back from his temples, dark and smooth, and I had the strangest urge to touch them.
"Go ahead," he said, as if he'd read my mind.
"What?"
"You're staring at my horns. Touch them if you want to."
Heat flooded my face. "I wasn't?—"
"Cal." His voice was amused but kind. "You can touch me anywhere you'd like. That's the point of all this. Exploration."
I reached up tentatively, my fingers brushing against the base of his left horn. It was warm and surprisingly smooth, like polished stone. Kieran's eyes fluttered closed and he made a soft sound in the back of his throat.
"Are they sensitive?" I asked.
"Very." His voice had gone rougher. "But I like it."
