It didn’t, but it made the fries yummier, so close enough. We ate and ate, half paying attention to the show.
“What do you want to do next?” he asked.
“Honestly, I’m tired. I haven’t been sleeping well with Daddy gone.”
“Do you want to sleep in the bed, or should we make a sleepover here?”
We opted for that, grabbing blankets and pillows, so many pillows, and just like I’d done with Brock the last time he stayed over, put on a movie and planned to fall asleep to it. Only, this time, I didn’t fall sound asleep.
I watched my friend sleeping. We’d had fun, and he did a good job giving me the space to fall away. Looking back to when this was all we had, I realized how much I’d been missing by nothaving a daddy. Rowan was great, and I hoped I was great back, but it wasn’t the same, and I always knew that. But I didn’t fully understand how different it was until I watched my friend sleep after our night in. I was missing my daddy, and wishing I could be little. Not sort of little. Fully in-headspace little.
I snuck out of our homemade bed, trying not to wake him, and grabbed my phone from the charger.
Daddy, I was about to go to bed. I wanted to say good night.
Less than a minute later, I got a response. It was a picture of a store filled with candy. So, so much candy.
I was here today during lunch, and I picked up a little present for you.
I sent an emoji of grabby hands.
You’ll see it when I get home. That way, you’ll be happy to see me.
Trust me, I’ll be happy to see you, even without a present.
So very, very happy.
Chapter Sixteen
Will
When I got home, it was very late, but Sammy’s car was parked in front of my house. Worried, I hurried over and rapped on the driver’s side window. He peeked out at me, blinking fast. Had he been asleep? And how long had he been there. We’d been texting up to a couple of hours before and he never mentioned coming over.
He flicked the lock and I opened his door and helped him out. “Sammy, are you all right? Why are you here?”
He rubbed his eyes and leaned in to me. “I missed you. So I came over.”
“Oh, I missed you too. But I don’t like to think of you waiting out here in your car. It’s not safe.”
“The doors were locked.”
I was arguing with a sleepy person, and that would never get me anywhere. So I did what I really wanted to do and enfolded him in my arms. Sammy tipped his face up for a kiss, which I gladly bestowed.
“You smell so good, Daddy.”
I inhaled the clean, fresh soap-and-water scent of his hair. “So do you, my sweetest boy.” I didn’t want him to be out in his car like that, but I couldn’t be sad to have him with me. I would have gone right to his place from the airport, but I hadn’t wanted to wake him this late. And how had that worked out?
In either case, he wasn’t leaving here without a key.
When we finished kissing, I walked him over to the front door and let him in before returning to my car to get my bag. Inside, I found him sitting on the sofa and already half asleep again.
Setting down my bag, I sat next to him and pulled him into my lap. “Now, what’s all this really about? I would have come to see you first thing in the morning. I don’t like to think of you all alone like that.”
“But I wasn’t alone.” He rubbed his cheek on my chest. “Brock came over, but it’s not the same as having my daddy with me. Before I met you, my friends and I tried to make each other feel better. We could be little or little-ish together and it helped us keep it together. But we all hoped to meet our true daddy. Like Rowan did with Summit. And now that I’ve met you, halfway isn’t enough at all.”
“I understand.” And it made my heart ache to think of them struggling like that, doing their very best to give each other comfort. “When I went to Chained and played with the single littles, it was almost more painful than being alone. They were all adorable and fun, but they weren’t my person. And after I went home, the loneliness was worse.” I cuddled him to me and kissed his cheek. “It’s so selfish and not daddylike at all, but besides worry, when I saw you there tonight, I was very happy not to have to wait to see you.”
“I think that’s very daddy-like.” He offered me a shy grin. “You were glad, really?”
