I twisted my head under Aster’s hold.I placed my hands on the keyboard and then I typed.
Suddenly everything fell away from me.My fear and hesitation, the trembling of my hands.My words appeared on the screen exactly as they looked in my head.
This was my best writing.
Then I moved my head again to reread a paragraph.No, I’d done it wrong.I wasn’t writing in English, but in the tongues of the muses.These words would never translate to a human tongue at all.
Well?What is it?Aster took my computer, pulling it away by the screen and lid, and skimmed a line or two.Then he groaned out loud and threw it over the edge.
I screamed when the device fell out of my reach.I didn’t know what I’d do if it didn’t turn on right when I went down to retrieve it.I didn’t know why Aster would endanger his own project like that, besides.The action made no sense.
Then I realized that Aster wasn’t thinking about the book on a rational level anymore.He didn’t even seem to realize the crime he committed in possibly destroying my laptop, the fact that I couldn’t meet his ultimatum if I tried.Now he pinned his attention on me.He pulled me up until my feet were barely touching the floor.He was going to throw me over the ledge.
Lighting flashed in the near distance, bright enough to blind me for a moment.I sucked air into my lungs and latched onto the glass wall of the lighthouse tower with one hand.Then I twisted myself.I mustered every ounce of strength I could.Then I did it.I kicked Aster so that he lost his balance and then I pushed him over the edge.
Aster fell without a word.
THE CALM
Aster would not have fallenif he saw my move in advance.He was stronger than I was, and faster.When I pushed him, my actions surprised him so much that he didn’t even scream.He simply fell over the edge in silence and crashed on the rain-soaked scrub below.
At first I couldn’t believe what I’d done.I stared unblinking at the naked space where Aster had stood only a second before.My heart thudded in my chest, and I glanced out at the foam-crested waves of the ocean as if I expected him to hop back up.I remained alone.
When Aster didn’t reappear, I quickly reviewed my action.I didn’t throw him out of anger.I didn’t want to throw him off.To kill him.I simply felt tired.Done.And after he tossed my laptop from the catwalk, the action had felt more natural than anything else.
My fingers curled over the fence.I looked out—first across, then down—to see what I had done.In all likelihood, I expected to see nothing at all except for the sad rectangle of my laptop lying half-buried in a puddle.Ruined now beyond any question.
When I saw Aster lying on the ground, motionless, I turned around, left the catwalk and sank into a fetal position on the cold metal floor of the lighthouse tower.I hugged my arms around my legs, facing inward and looking at the socket where the light had once shown out of this place.
I waited for the rain to end and for the feeling associated with it to blow away.The wind had picked up enough that fat drops still landed on me from time to time even from my sheltered vantage.
After a time, the storm ended.I didn’t know if minutes or hours had passed after I’d pushed Aster over the edge.I considered staying in the tower longer, feigning sleep in a desire to wake up either in bed or in front of my work, any chance to undo everything that had just happened.
That was the worst problem with Aster’s abilities.He could cast the strongest illusions, but I never knew when he was being honest.I had no way of knowing where we even stood with each other.
Eventually I relaxed.I rolled my shoulders and stood up.Now the sky was blue, and the clouds had faded to a distant fog over the calming ocean.I didn’t look down this time.
I turned around and walked down the stairs, pressing my hand to the wall for support.When I reached the bottom I stepped out into the light and stood in the sun for one moment.If the weather had started like this, this day would have played out so differently.I could still feel some of my old temptation to go out and spend the day on the beach.But my concerns surpassed my need for an escape at the moment.
The ground was wet, the concrete dark and puddles over the patches of nearby grass and dirt.I peeled off my sweater and put it on the railing next to the front door of the house.Then I walked to the back.
With every step I braced myself for an unfortunate discovery.I’d have to call an emergency number about the body.I’d tell them it happened by accident, that I didn’t know this man or what he was doing.Then of course they’d take him, they’d check his teeth or fingerprints to see if they could identify him.
And they wouldn’t find one record.
I froze when I saw Aster’s shirt, white and thin over the grass where I had seen it from above.One sleeve came into view before the rest, and at first I missed the irony of the fact that no arm stuck out from it.
His clothes were there, but the man was gone—disappeared, raptured.And then as I reached for what I could of his woven remains, they too disappeared.The shirt, pants, and even the shoes turned to air before I could take them, and my fingertips touched only the open grass.
I stood tall and hurried around a few shrubs to where my broken laptop had landed.That unfortunate device still lay where I’d last seen it.When I picked it up I assumed that there would be no way to restore anything I’d kept on it.For some reason, that didn’t worry me.I took it, holding it under my arm the way I had earlier, and went back inside the house.
The windows I’d opened in the morning had been left open during the storm.In front of them were tiny puddles where the rain had fallen through onto the sills, still in need of drying.The wind had also blown the curtains out of place.
What caught my attention the most was the cross, the remains from the shipwreck.It had been nailed to the part of the wall next to the stairs, a space far from the nearest windows, but something had shaken it from its place.
I picked the cross up from the ground and wiped some of the dust from the old wooden boards.Then I slipped it back onto the nail where it hung and watched it for a couple seconds in silence.
After returning the cross to its usual place, I walked into the kitchen.I selected an apple from the bag and sat down at the dining room table as I ate, never minding that it was my third or fourth for the day.Everything felt quiet and still, but it was all real.For the first time in weeks I felt like a functioning human again.
