“Have you been writing, though?”My mom had taken her shoes off when we reached the sand.Now she stood with the water lapping around her toes, turning back to me while facing the horizon.
I saw the strings prompting my own reply, and I studied Aster in frustration.He was kneeling and removing his sandals to walk more easily on the beach.When he saw me, he nodded for me to continue.Whenever I’m not out here, I’m writing.And I think it helps, being alone like this.Having the beach and the wind…
He nodded abruptly.“And all the history.That helps too.”I was surprised he didn’t already know a list of the wrecks in the area or facts about Illumination Point itself.He was a walking encyclopedia.
I almost tripped over a loose rock.Why did their presence set me so ill at ease?I felt forced.I should have mentioned Aster to them by now.I still could, and I wanted to.But it felt wrong, dragging him into a setting where he didn’t belong.
“Tell us all about it,” said my mom.“What are you writing?Is it a novel?”
A novel?Yes,I began.Too close—we were getting too close to Aster.Ahead of us, he waded ankle-deep in the water and leaned his head back as the waves lapped around him.His words appeared unspoken in my brain.It might not be much good.I think I’ll need to keep at it long after I leave.
I was getting too good at lying about things.Aster’s subtlety was so sleek, so automatic that the words he fed me sounded more convincingly like me than anything I actually felt at the moment.
“What’s it about?”
My cheeks flushed.It’s complicated.A literary piece.Not any conventional story, you know.The writing is its own adventure.
I didn’t know if my answer set my parents ill at ease or made them more curious.My dad kept his eyes on the tower above and said something about wanting to climb it.I accepted the distraction, ran back inside of the house and took the keys from the small basket on the kitchen counter where I kept them.
It felt strange to climb up the lighthouse without Aster.It felt like he owned this place, like I was only here as his guest.Still I thought of how I’d introduce them if he stepped in, but when I led my parents up the stone spiral stairs to the top, the air sounded hollow without his voice.
“Have you been alone here this whole time?”asked my dad.
I turned around.I’d pressed my hand to the stone wall of the tower and now I leaned into it.Yes,I said.But I’ve been so busy I’ve hardly noticed.
“Then you might want to keep your eyes open,” my mom jested from the back.Her voice echoed in the darkness behind us.“I thought I saw someone else here as we stepped into your house.”
It could be a ghost,I suggested.Illumination Point has seen its share of shipwrecks.I wouldn’t be surprised if a few lost sailors stopped in from time to time to remember what home felt like.
Now at last we reached the top.I stood in the back of the room with the open Maine countryside at my back.This space had an uncanny way of making me feel like an eye, a raw spark of soul looking out on the sea on a sunny day.
My parents both made adoring comments, but instead of responding I began to fixate compulsively on how little real communication there was between us, like my life was a play and I was merely a character expected to recite the same lines as always.
After the tour, my parents drove away.They left behind a care packet of snacks and hot chocolate mixes, as well as a set of wood-engraved coasters of the Illumination Point lighthouse that they found in a nearby tourist shop.Aster stepped as well, claiming that he needed time to clear his head after the visit.
When I was alone, I took out the coasters and looked at them for a long moment in silence.Now everything came to my head—my work, Aster, the stars, our trip to the bottom of the Atlantic.I celebrated Aster’s absence and the moments I could claim all for myself.I needed this time to connect to myself.My head felt clearer now, like the fresh air had blown a breeze of sanity into my brain.
Aster didn’t return for the rest of the day, and after I ate a makeshift sandwich for lunch, my exhaustion hit me with full force.The spell he’d cast on me felt long ago and far away, a relic from a determined daydream.
But my bed felt empty that night and uncomfortably cold.While I left the window open at first, I soon got up and slid the glass shut before pulling the thin white curtains over it.I had the strangest feeling that some of the stars outside were awake, and that they were watching me in my solitude.
In my sleep I didn’t dream.It was the deepest I’d slept all summer, and for the first time I didn’t care if I needed to sleep in late in the morning.
THE CURSE
Aster’s shadowfell over me, and the pride in his voice could not be missed.Excellent.You and I make an unstoppable force.You can stop now, if you want.
I blinked, and my fingers froze over the keyboard.A momentary confusion flickered in my mind.The sound of waves, the view from the catwalk.The sun high in the sky while Aster took off his sandals to wade in the water.The last thing I knew, I was slipping into bed after pulling the curtains to my windows shut for the night.But Aster’s voice had summoned me straight to the living room and straight to our work in progress...exactly as I had once summoned him.The tables had turned.
It was night.Still night, or night again.I couldn’t tell.Nor did I know how long I’d been sitting here writing, but one glance at my word count assured me that I had covered a lot of ground since my last conscious writing session.
A smile dimpled Aster’s cheeks when I turned my head and found him standing at my right.
I shook my head and looked away from his gaze.I felt too unsettled for company right now.
Aster stepped back with a zest that felt uncharacteristic even for him.There’s not a person on Earth who won’t adore it, or at least highly respect it,he said, holding up a hand in enthusiasm.Books like this fly off the shelves.Drama.Theme.Symbolism, intensity.No one alive can write lightning the way you can.
His words sounded far away and echoed with the pronouncement of a curse rather than positive editorial feedback.“How long have we been here?”I asked.
