No, this couldn't be right. David was…he was known to her. But, this man, Strikes Fast, was completely foreign to her, though she held him in great esteem.
Shutting her eyes, she said a brief prayer,"Help me, dear Lord."
Opening her eyes, she saw Strikes Fast was still gazing down at her. And, as they looked at one another for several moments, she suddenly found it hard to breathe. At last, however, she took a deep breath, but this only caused another problem: the musky, yet clean scent of him wafted toward her on the breeze. And, he smelled so good.
Despite her best intentions, she swayed in toward him, and he reached out to her, steadying her. Why couldn't she have a simple conversation with this man without her body reminding her of her own feminine nature?
She didn't know, but if she were to withstand this man, it seemed urgent to bring their conversation to an end. And, then he touched a finger to his lips, brought that same finger to her lips and said,"Kitsikákomimmo."Immediately, her body acted all out of proportion to the simple act. A feeling akin to lightning flashed through her veins, and she shuddered.
Perhaps he was right; maybe it wasn't wise to marry David when she was reacting to Strikes Fast in this fashion. And yet, marrying David had to be right. It simply had to be; she had already committed herself to David in a way that couldn't be undone.
Gathering her courage, she asked, "What is the meaning of the word you spoke?"
Strikes Fast looked back at her and gave her a half-smile, which was so handsome and so deeply endearing, she again thought her knees might betray her and refuse to hold her up. But, he didn't answer her question with signs. All he did was shake his head.
She had to end this; she was simply out of her depth with this man. Pacing backward, she took several steps away from him. Gaining a little space from him, she signed, "When we arrive again at the Blackfoot camp, I will be making plans to return to Fort Union, and once there, David and I will marry. I am sorry if I have led you to believe I might think of you as more than a friend. Please forgive me if I have given you the wrong impression. I have made these gifts as a way to let you know how fond I am of you and how much appreciation I have for you. Yes, you will always be in my heart, Mr. Strikes Fast, but I fear not as a husband."
She looked away from him so missed the look of utter helplessness mirrored within his eyes. However, he gently touched her shoulder, and when she glanced back at him, he signed, "From now until this world ends, any obligation you once felt you might owe me is gone. You are free to marry him…" He paused, adding out loud, "Tsaahtao'niistó, (or me)."
When she didn't respond back to him, he added by way of gestures, "Do you remember when you once asked me what kind of relationship might be permitted between us?"
"I do," she signed.
He nodded. "At the time I didn't know how there might ever be an alliance between us, save one—marriage—which you say cannot be. But, I have been thinking about it, and I am now of the opinion that I should make you my almost sister and bring you into my family so you have a home and a people of your own while you are still in the Pikuni camp. In this way, you may speak openly about your deepest thoughts and secrets without fear of another taking you to task and you will always have someone on your side."
"Your almost sister?"
"I would make you my sister, but because we have no blood relation, you would be almost sister to me."
He wanted to make her his sister? His almost sister?
As though time stood still for a moment, tears formed in her eyes. She looked away from him, brushing a hand over her eyes to hide the reaction. And, all she signed was, "Did you say you wish to bring me into your family?"
"Éeh,yes," he said in Crow. Then, with gestures, he went on to say, "I think I should become your almost brother so I might look after you and ensure your safety while you are in the Pikuni camp. It is right that I should do this, even though there would be no blood relation between us. Have you a brother in your own village?"
"I do not," she signed as she tried to cope with the tears threatening to spill down over her cheeks. "I have no family." She gulped and looked away from him to hide her reaction. But, glancing back at him, she said, using gestures, "It is my hope to make my own family once I am married to David, for I have not had any known relatives so far in this life."
As soon as she'd signed the words, she wanted to take them back. Why was she telling this man her most heartfelt hopes?
"Then, I shall fulfill your dream and shall take you into my family as my almost sister," he signed. "You understand we cannot be true brother and sister because we are not of the same blood. But, you will be an almost relation to me and my sister and all of our Pikuni relatives. You would be her friend as well as her sister, and in this way, you would have her to talk to. If you agree and do not object, I shall make you a part of my family in front of the village so all will know of the new bond between us. In this way, we may speak to one another from time to time."
"But, I thought you said brothers and sisters cannot talk to one another."
"This is true, but a brother and sister may speak to one another respectfully and show their appreciation for one another on occasion," he responded. "However, you are not my true sister, and in the ceremony, this will be clearly said. Also, almost brothers and sisters have more privileges since they are expected to talk to one another, even to tease one another." He smiled at her.
After a moment, Sharon signed, "Thank you. I…I don't know what to say. I am quite shocked, but pleasantly so." Then, in English, she continued, "Always you do the unexpected for me, and I fear I am close to grieving in front of you, so touched am I by you." In sign, she continued, saying, "You will always be in my heart."
He smiled at her as though he understood her English words, and then he repeated, "Kitsikákomimmo."Reaching up, he removed the earrings from his ears, and, taking her hand once more into his own, he dropped the white shells into her palm. Then he closed her fingers over the jewelry, and, bringing her hand up toward his lips, he again kissed each one of her fingers. But, this time he also turned her hand over and kissed her wrist—there, where her pulse was beating so madly out of control.
And, Sharon couldn't help herself. She cried, and, indeed, she swayed in toward him. He caught her, holding her for several moments. Gazing up at him and through her tears, she tried to speak, but it was beyond her.
At first he returned her regard, but after a few moments, he shut his eyes and set his lips firmly together as though he would rein in his own emotions as sternly as he might handle a stray pony. Then, returning her to an upright position, he nodded and turned around so his back was toward her. After a moment, he picked up an object resembling a brush and continued to rub down his pony.
Her voice was shaking as she said, "Goodbye, Mr. Strikes Fast," and, mirroring his action, she spun away from him. Slowly, she walked in the opposite direction from him, heading back toward their camp and the others. And, because she wasn't looking, she missed the look of utter loss upon Strikes Fast's visage.
