CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"And, so you see, if I don't marry that horrible man, our parents will be ruined. Even now, they are practically impoverished. So, if I am to save our parents, I must marry the stinky old man. Yet, I am in love with Gray Falcon. If I am to be fully honest with you, I must tell you that one of the reasons I have come here is to somehow convince Gray Falcon to consent to having a last fling with me. Perhaps, then, if I could convince him to do it, the memories I make with him will last me through the rest of my life."
Laylah gave her a rather serious glance as she said, "He will never consent to having an affair with you without also marrying you."
"I know. He has already told me."
"You confessed this to him?" Laylah looked surprised.
"Well, yes. I had to be honest with him, didn't I? What if we had made love to one another and he came to love me after all, and then I left him? It wouldn't be fair to him, would it? I had to tell him."
"And, what was his reaction to this confession?"
"I think he was a little angry with me," said Amelia, "though he never raised his voice. But, he did say that I was not to tease him nor let him come near me, and I was not to parade myself around him."
Laylah laughed. "I still think the man protests too much."
"Also, he warned me that if I ever let him make love to me, we would be married, and he said it to me three times, meaning he really meant it. So, nowhe'steasing me instead of me throwing myself at him. And, I have to keep reminding myself that I am not free to love him at all."
Laylah seemed to be reflecting seriously upon what they were speaking about because her frown was deep and the brow between her eyes was furrowed. At length, she said, "Amelia, I don't believe you have to marry the old man. There must be another way, although I don't know what it is at present. May I please talk to my husband about it? After all, it might affect my husband and me, as well as you and Gray Falcon."
"Of course you may speak to Eagle Heart about it and anything else I have told you. But, are you agreeing with me that if I were to make love to Gray Falcon and then walk away, it could adversely affect Gray Falcon?"
"I think you know the truth about that. But, come now," said Laylah. "It is obvious you are in love with him, and it is equally obvious he is in love with you. If you left here to go back to St. Louis so you might marry another man…" Laylah left the rest unsaid.
"But, I am uncertain Gray Falcon really loves me, Laylah. He has never told me he does. And, in the past, he has said to me many, many times that he does not wish to marry me because…well, he thinks I am too outspoken. Perhaps he has changed now that we are more mature. And, I know he desires to make love to me—he told me so—but I don't think he feels this way because he loves me."
"Maybe," Laylah responded, "he didn't love you in the beginning. But, I am certain he is in love with you now. Were he not, he would never have enlisted his sister to help you come to learn the duties of a Pikuni wife." She laughed. "The people are all talking about it. He stands and watches you and his sister at work as though he cannot take his eyes away from you. But, I should tell you this once more: he cannot make love with you without marrying you. It is true, as you have said, that, if you were to love him and then walk away, it might ruin him. All his life, he has trained his body, mind and spirit to be a medicine man, and because of this, romancing a woman he does not intend to marry is forbidden."
"I know. He has told me this, too. But, what can I do? You were not there to witness our mother lose faith and all hope. How can Inotmarry that horrible old man? Perhaps our father might recover from the damage done, if given time, but not our mother. It was, after all, only three years ago when she lost her beloved mother, our grandmother. And, although Mother inherited our grandmother's estate and what little wealth our grandmother had accumulated, it is all gone now—lost by Father in a game of poker."
Laylah reached out to take Amelia's hand. "I don't know what we can do. Not yet. But, I am certain there must be another way. I am going to write to our mother, even if my letters never arrive. But, you say she is now at Fort Union?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps my letters might stand a better chance of getting to her there. If not, I believe we should plan a trip down river and go there while the weather is still warm. As you might remember, winter can come early to this part of the world, and it would be best if we were to do this now, before autumn arrives."
"Now?" asked Amelia.
"Yes. The sooner the better; otherwise we might very well encounter a blizzard before we arrive at the fort."
"True," replied Amelia. "I am well aware of this territory's severe weather. Blizzards can come upon this land in a matter of minutes, and the temperature can drop as much as seventy-five degrees in less than it takes me to say it. I remember learning this very well, I fear."
Laylah nodded, and her voice was soft when she murmured, "And yet, I have come to love the snowstorms and blizzards in this land. Always, they remind me of a love I never would have found without them. I now consider myself lucky to have been caught out in one."
Amelia smiled at her sister. Perhaps she, too, might come to love the uncanny weather in this land. After all, without that first blizzard and her sister having gone missing in it, she would never have come to know and fall in love with Gray Falcon.
Indeed, like her sister, she might always love the fickle weather in this land, and in particular, blizzards.
****
Amelia tossed and turned in her soft bed of an elk-skin blanket. Spinning over again, she looked directly at the small fire in the center of the lodge and blamed it for her inability to sleep.
She kept seeing again—and experiencing the shame of witnessing—the fifty or more eyes trained on her and Gray Falcon. She had been so caught up in the sexual nature of his kiss, she'd lost all sense of time and place.
Everyone would know now. Everyone.
And, yet she couldn't marry him. Had she harmed him already? And, had she done so without even experiencing the full effect of his lovemaking?
