CHAPTER TEN
This was how Gray Falcon found her some time later after he had engaged in a rather long, passion-filled, yet cleansing and cold, swim. Here she was, alone on the ledge, curled inwardly on her side, with her blanket tucked securely around her.
He felt better able now to control his lust after having exhausted himself physically. And so, he now considered he would be able to seek her out and speak to her again. Surely, there was another way out of the difficulty being forced upon her.
In trying to envision other possible solutions, however, he'd run headlong into too many questions that only she could answer. Thus, he had looked for her, thinking he would find her within her lodge. But, discovering she wasn't there, he had once again followed her tracks back to the whitish-gray buttes.
And now, with his passion momentarily cooled, he sat down next to her. He sighed, his deep breath turning quickly into a yawn. She was, indeed, in trouble, although it was not her own doing, except perhaps in being too frank with him.
He closed his eyes and groaned. She hadn't been here even a full moon and already trouble had come into his life. Had he really expected anything less?
What she didn't know was that her problem was his, also. One reason for this was his responsibility for her safety while she was in his camp.
But, the main reason was because he would not long be able to withstand her, even if she didn't taunt him with her beauty and femininity. Eventually, he would bring about her surrender to him, thus ensuring their marriage. He knew he would.
But, he realized this would not necessarily help her right now. And, although he hadn't told her this, the idea of demanding she marry himself when she didn't think it wise was also forbidden to him as a medicine man.
She would have to come to him of her own free will. But, though true, this didn't negate his concocting a scheme to bring about her eventual cooperation and capitulation. Perhaps he might wage a carefully planned flirtation with her, one she wouldn't be able to resist.
There was more: if he and she were to be happy with one another, he would have to aid her parents and bring them out of the way of harm, also. But, tying herself to a man who brought her disquiet and physical repulsion was not a solution; it would only create more problems for her.
Meanwhile, until she consented to marry him, Gray Falcon knew he would have to throw himself into the utmost physical exertion so he might counter the urge to act as a wild man and make love with her. He'd have to enter more races, accept more wrestling matches; also, he'd have to dance more and perhaps climb higher mountains, if only to extinguish the physical anguish caused by his own lust. Otherwise, in no time at all, he would fling her over his shoulder, take her into his lodge, throw her onto his sleeping robes while pulling off her clothing, and make passionate love to her for days on end. He'd barely been able to keep his hands off her tonight.
It was what she wanted, and, in all honesty, it was what he desired, also.
At last he understood the puzzle of their relationship, one that had eluded him for these last five snows. First, he had met this woman as a childhood friend, their allegiance strengthening between them because of a mutual and desperate cause. Soon after, they had reached out to each other spiritually, deepening further the closeness between them. And, now he desired her in as carnal a way as a man could.
Did this mean he loved her? Perhaps. But, this was not necessarily so. How could he truly be in love with her when she seemed to always bring trouble into his life? Yet, even thinking this, he recalled again how happy he had been to see her only moments after she'd stepped off the steamboat.
In a way he could not understand, there was a strange part of him which came alive when he was with her. It was odd because he truly did object to her brash behavior. Yet, sometimes the behavior he found offensive also made him laugh.
But now, added to these confusing thoughts was his physical desire for her. And, he knew when a man felt this way for a close feminine friend, he married her.
He sat up straight, away from her, and grunted. Never would he have imagined all those years ago that upon reaching adulthood he would long to take Á'sitápi into his lodge and make love to her. Indeed, his warning to her had been true tonight. He would eat her up if she continued to trifle with him.
However, he couldn't do as she wished…without marriage. If he did, her reputation would be shattered. She had asked him a rather telling question tonight: would he not think her to be a loose woman because of what she implored him to do? It had been an odd question because never would he look upon her in this way.
A'sitápi was as moral as he. That she yearned as much for his embrace as he did hers did not make her immoral. Indeed, he was well aware her passion was directed toward him alone. And, if he were to be truthful, he would admit the same.
Added to all this, A'sitápi was also the sister-in-law of his friend, Eagle Heart, who would be called upon to defend her honor were he, Gray Falcon, to act toward her as she desired.
And so, it was for all of these reasons he would ensure her good reputation. And, he would marry her. There was no doubt about this in his mind. He might have to wait until she realized she couldn't live without him. But, he was a patient man.
However, he was well aware that by marrying her, ethical though it might be, he might solve the one problem only to create another. Indeed, her father's dilemma could well cause A'sitápi's ruin. Perhaps he would counsel with Eagle Heart, since this could adversely affect his wife's happiness, as well.
Gray Falcon yawned. It had been a long day, and now he, too, was tired. It wouldn't hurt if he were to put these confusing and conflicting thoughts to rest for a while.
Without overly thinking about it, he lay down next to her, there on the ledge, and pulled her body in close to his, keeping his arm over her waist. Strangely, in addition to causing him to feel as if he might consume her with passion, her story also triggered an urge within him to protect her, as well as her family.
Indeed, whether he wished it to be this way or not, he and she were entwined. The Creator must have known she would need his help and so had brought them together first as friends, then on a spiritual plane so their differences would not be a barrier. And, now her problems became his, if for no other reason than this one aspect: whatever else she was, she was his.
****
She rolled over onto her back and stared up at—what was she looking at? A midnight sky? Of course it was. At once, the memory of her answer to Gray Falcon's proposal came crashing back at her. She sighed deeply, but soon realized there was a weight pressing down over her waist.
Concerned, she gazed to her left, amazed to find Gray Falcon asleep by her side. She smiled. It was just as though they were…
No! They weren't married, were they? Surely, she would remember if she had made love to him.
