His answer was silence.
But, she ignored him and continued, "Then you take a step with your left foot; the right follows and then the left again. Like this." She showed him. "You hold me like this"—she held out her arms—"and I look up at you with wonder and love in my eyes…like this."
He shook his head, but laughed all the same. Instantly, she felt a little better and giggled.
"Soon, after you know how to do this well enough," she continued, "you begin to spin around and around on the first beat of the rhythm. If you do it well enough, after a while a girl begins to feel like she is floating."
"Hánnia?"
"Yes. Come. No one is about up here to see you. Let's try it and see if you, too, might feel as though you are floating."
He shook his head.
"Mr. Falcon, come." She held her arms open.
At last, he came up to his feet and stepped into her arms, though it appeared he was reluctant to hold her close to him, for he kept her at arm's length.
"This is very good," she said. "And, now you begin the dance on your left foot, like this." She showed him. "The second and third beats are light and airy. It's the first beat that allows a man to step around and around the dance floor as though he is floating; the second and third steps merely follow and help him to turn about. Let's try it."
It was awkward at first, but he was a fast learner. Perhaps it was because he seemed to naturally feel the beat. And so, within a few moments, he was swaying up and back.
"My, but you have become good at this very quickly. But, since you are doing this well," she instructed, "on the first beat of the rhythm, turn slightly and step with your right foot and then your left, around and around. Take me with you as you do so."
He complied, and within moments they were twirling around the ledge as though it had become a dance floor. She smiled up at him. After a while, she whispered, "I wish I could dance like this with you for always and forever."
"It is a good wish," he said. "Yet, this may be all we will ever have together. Though I have now asked you to become my woman, I think it is in your mind to go back to St. Louis. Though you have not said this definitely, I yet feel this may be true. You say you love me and wish to be my woman, but in the end, you plan to leave here…and me. Is this not so?"
Caught not only by his accurate perception of her problem, but by the bluntness of his words, Amelia looked away from him. She remained, however, silent.
He inhaled deeply. "This is why I will watch you from afar as my sister teaches you about the Pikuni way of life. But, I would ask you to quickly learn about our customs, and, if you must leave, then go quickly. Do not linger here."
If she had felt guilty before, she certainly felt worse now for what she must do and what she must say. She had to tell him the full truth of why she was here, because, of course, he would sense what was in her heart. He had always done so, although it seemed to her that he was more than a little reluctant to admit it.
Yet, he still didn't know the worst. She opened her mouth to say what eventually must be said, but the words would not leave her mouth.
At last, with a deep sigh for courage, she asked, "Mr. Falcon, may I please be as blunt with you as you have now been with me? I know no other way to tell you what I must, I fear."
"Áa,you may."
They stopped dancing, and his hands dropped to his sides. She looked away from him, attempting to gather even more nerve to tell him what she didn't wish to confess.
"Please," she began, "do not think bad thoughts of me. I know you promised me not to, but, please, I beg you to still like me after I tell you what I must. I fear that what I'm about to tell you will make you think I am bad."
"It will not happen. In all this time, I have remained close to you, even though I have sometimes felt your habit of speaking outright is not to my liking. However, I admit I have become accustomed to your strange and unusual requests of me. And, still I like you."
She gulped. "Thank you," she said. Then, pausing for a moment, she inhaled deeply before saying, "The truth is, I do not wish to leave here until I have had a romantic affair with you. And, although I do not know how to go about asking you to do this with me, I would like you to indulge me and share your…embrace with me before I leave here and go back to St. Louis. There." She sighed. "At last I have said it."
"A 'romantic affair'? I have not learned the meaning of these words when used together."
She sighed, feeling suddenly shy. It was a bold statement she had this moment said to him, and suddenly she felt ashamed of herself, for she was entreating him to ravish her without the promise of forever. But, she had her reasons. And, soon he would know them, too.
"I do not fully understand the meaning of these words," he prompted.
"It…it is acting as if one is married without really being married. Perhaps, instead of me simply doing work for you like I am now doing, we could act as though we are actually married, includingallthe acts of marriage."
"Allacts? Including—?"
"Yes." She stared down as though the earth might open up and swallow her whole. Indeed, at this moment, she felt as though Mother Earth might be justified in doing it.
