CHAPTER EIGHT
Amelia had scampered toward the gray and white clay bluffs overlooking the fort and the Pikuni encampment. Once at the foot of the sharp hills, she had dared to climb up a steep trail leading toward the apex of one of the ridges. Pulling herself up onto a wide ledge, she sat down upon it, peered over the edge and breathed in a sigh of relief, glad to know the drop sloped gradually down were she to misplace a step.
Feeling temporarily safe, she looked out upon the prairie with its gullies, buttes and distant mountains. Already the sun was sitting low in the western sky, and she gazed toward it as it slowly descended toward the horizon.
As she watched its rays fall down from a cloud partially covering it, Amelia let the beauty of the brown prairie calm her troubled spirit, for she was certain she had done wrong. Had she hurt Gray Falcon by emptying the hot soup upon him? Was this the reason he had left so quickly?
She couldn't help wondering what his mother was going to think of her now. And, what about Sweet Woman? Would she still wish to befriend her? Would she continue to call her 'sister'?
Amelia shut her eyes against the feeling of humiliation, realizing what had happened was no one's fault but her own.
What was she to do? She still hadn't confided her desperate situation to her sister, let alone to Gray Falcon, who stood dead center in the awful problem facing both her and her parents. She wished the trouble would simply go away. But, she knew it was too much to hope for. As though the troubles of the world were weighing on her shoulders alone, a tear streaked down her face.
She was caught in a trap. She loved a man whom she dared not love because if he should come to care for her, she was sure to hurt him. And, he didn't even know it…because she hadn't shared the truth with him.
Was it right that she should keep shying away from admitting her plan concerning him, as well as the reason for it?
As another tear slid down her cheek, she jumped up slightly, startled when the very man who was on her thoughts silently came to sit beside her. He didn't say a word to her. Instead, he, too, looked out upon the beauty of the Montana sunset.
She cried even more. She hadn't realized he had followed her until just now when he had sat down beside her; his approach had been so soundless. It only emphasized how different they really were, and it forced her to remember again her mother's hopes that these little dissimilarities might cause Amelia to understand there was no future for her with him.
After a moment, he reached out to take her hand in his, and, still not saying a word to her, he gazed outward at the beauty on display before them as though he, like she, were in awe of God's creation.
At length, he said, "Forgive me."
She wasn't certain she could answer because her tongue wasn't working properly, but, after a moment, she swallowed hard and whispered, "There is nothing to forgive. The fault was entirely mine."
"Saa,it is not wholly your responsibility. If anyone should be chided for what happened, it is I. Were I more in control of my body, I would not have had to rush out of my parents' lodge as though I were on fire."
"Did I hurt you?"
"Saa,you did not."
"What did I do, then, to make you run off so quickly? It has something to do with me, doesn't it?"
He laughed a little.
"It is not funny, sir."
"Perhaps it is not very humorous if seen from your eyes. But, every man in the tepee knew exactly what was wrong with me. Indeed, there would be many who would be shocked, after witnessing this, if we did not marry at once."
She shook her head. "I don't understand."
From her peripheral vision, she saw him look at her for a moment before he again gazed forward. He asked, "Have you made your decision as to whether you will stay or go?"
"I…I have not."
He nodded.
"We should marry," he said matter-of-factly. "When a man has as many physical problems with a woman as I have with you, they should marry, and then let the world at large adjust to their choice."
She shut her eyes and, at once, began to weep.
"What have I said to cause you to cry?"
"You don't know; that's what's wrong. You don't know about what has happened to me, and this is because I haven't told you. And, at last I am hearing my dream-come-true from the lips of the man I truly love, and I…I…" She gulped. "And, the fault is mine…all mine."
"And now," he said, "I must admit I do not understand."
