“Of course not.”
“Or…ask me to stay.” My heart picks up speed like I’m going for a sprint. Do I really want the answer?
He drops his hand, but his gaze is intent on my face. “I want to be with you, Vivian. I’m not sure what that will look like, but we can figure it out.” He moves his silverware around like he’s working up the nerve to say the rest. He’s no longer looking at me, and my stomach drops. “I care about you so much. But I can’t…” He swallows, and his voice is softer. “I don’t want to wake up one day and find you gone.”
My heart breaks for this sweet man. This isn’t about me at all. “I’m not your mom.”
He laughs and then clears his throat. “I know that.”
“Do you?” I wait for his eyes to meet mine. “I know what I want, Jonah. Regrets happen. But I will never regret being with you.”
“You say that now.”
I open my mouth to protest. We just talked about this. Didn’t we?
But he shakes his head. “This is my first real Pridefest. My first time singing in front of this many people—the karaoke bar doesn’t count. It’s just a lot of firsts for me today. And you too. I want to enjoy this with you. We can worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.”
“Fine. I enjoy experiencing your firsts with you.” I bite my lip and let my eyes roam over him. “I like seconds even more.”
His hand possessively wrapped around my ass cheek. The smack of his hand.
“Vivian,” he says with a warning tone. “We don’t have time for any of that.”
“Who says? We’re adults. We can do what we want.”
“There’s just one little problem,” he says, leaning closer. “All I can think about is gripping your hair, pulling your head back, and coming all over your face.”
It’s suddenly very hot in here. “That doesn’t sound like a problem.”
“It will be when you have to redo all your makeup.”
The line to get into the event is long. But Jonah provides commentary on things they could have done better. I swear he’s thinking of next year and how they can include a Pride event at Bishop Fields in between all those weddings. Once we’re finally in, his eyes go wide, and I imagine it’s the same look I had at fourteen when Frankie and I first visited Times Square.
Booths cover the area, selling everything from coffee and candy on one side to flags and things we wouldn’t want Maisy to find on the other. On the perimeter are food trucks of every variety. A big stage is set up on one end. My stomach swoops in excitement. This is it.
Just like the parade in Colorado Springs, but on a larger scale, there are people of different ages, ethnicities, and colors of the rainbow. Many are dressed outrageously in bright colors and glitter, wearing wigs and even some wings. But there are alsopeople not dressed up, only wearing shorts and T-shirts, with rainbow bands around their wrists.
“There are so many people here.” His voice sounds shaky.
I search his face. “Are you okay?”
He nods and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just being in a crowd of this many people and not having to worry about what I say or do.” He laughs. “I can kiss who I want, and no one cares.”
That is not completely true. But I’m not going to remind him of that. Not yet.
He lifts his shirt like he’s going to wipe his eyes. I tsk at him and hand him a tissue from my bag. “Thanks. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“It’s overwhelming.” I squeeze his hand. “And crying is accepted here. Encouraged even. But fair warning, there are lots of people giving away free hugs, which is amazing, but just…be cautious.”
He laughs. “Jealous already?”
“Absolutely. You may be oblivious to this boy-next-door-muscled-farm-boy-charm thing you have going on, but I can assure you, I am not.” I catch a guy a few feet away eyeing Jonah with interest. “Move along, honey. This one’s mine.”
Jonah laughs and pulls me into his arms. “Mine. I like the sound of that.”
I’m not sure if it’s the Pridefest, the look in Jonah’s eyes, or the happiness that seems almost foreign, but I throw caution to the wind or whatever that saying is and kiss my guy. Right then. Right there.
I can’t believe I get to have this. A giddy feeling bubbles through me as I rub our noses together playfully and Jonah wraps me in his arms.
“Jonah?”
We break apart at the sound of George’s voice. He’s standing beside Mom with his hands over Maisy’s eyes. All the color has drained from his face.
“Dad…” Jonah moves toward him.
George shakes his head slowly as if he’s trying to process what he’s seeing. He takes a stumbling step back. “I don’t understand.”
“George…” Mom puts her hand on his arm, but he shakes her off.
“No. I…can’t.” His eyes are almost pleading. As if we could somehow take it all back. Make it not be true. Then he swallows and his eyes harden. “What the hell is going on?”
