Vivian ends the call and, without a glance at me, storms away.
I don’t let him get far. “Vivian, wait. Your father is wrong. He shouldn’t?—”
He whips around, his eyes furious. “I don’t need your protection, Jonah. Not now. Not ever.”
I watch him walk away, and I’m not sure how I feel. Hurt? Betrayed? As if everything that happened over the last few days meant nothing.
Anger wins. It’s familiar, especially when it comes to Vivian. But now it feels like an old shoe that doesn’t quite fit anymore.
But anger is all I have.
As we get closer to the van and our parents, I stride past Vivian. I’m ready to be back on the road and done with all of this. Dad calls us over. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you guys. Ready to go?”
“I’m ready.” I nod at Carolynda, but she stops me with a hand on my arm.
“Is everything all right, dear?”
No. Definitely not okay. I resist the urge to yank my hand away. “Ask Vivian.”
I reach the van before anyone else and pull the driver’s side door open.
Vivian is close behind, ignoring his mother’s questions. “Are you sure you should drive, Jonah?” he asks, “You seem pretty angry.”
I stare at him, so done with his crap. “Do you want to drive, Vivian?” I toss him the keys. “Be my guest.”
There’s a certain satisfaction I get from the surprised and then furious look he throws me. I slam the door as hard as I can—which ends my tirade. The window on the driver’s side drops…and then shatters into pieces.
Fuck. I’m so angry at Vivian—at this trip where nothing seems to be going right—that I use cuss words I’m not sure I’ve ever said before. Carolynda calmly covers Maisy’s ears.
I stomp away, needing a moment before I break down completely. I count to one hundred. A thousand would be more helpful, but everyone’s waiting, so I make it short.
No one says a word as I climb back into the van and start the engine. I’m back on the highway in no time.
Vivian stares out the window. That’s fine with me. Anything he has to say will most likely make me angrier.
After thirty or so miles, I’m calm enough to think clearly. More clearly.
Vivian and I have known each other for five years. Hell, I’ve been “related” to him for all of that time. But the reality is that I’ve never really known him. The last four days have proven that. On the surface, this seems like the same old Vivian, lashing out at anyone brave enough to help him.
But I know things now that I didn’t know when I was seventeen. Or even a week ago. His father is an asshole. Vivianhas a sweet side that he doesn’t show very often. But the thing that stands out the most is that every time Vivian has pushed me away, I’ve taken it personally.
And it was never about me. None of it. And it hurts a bit, which is ridiculous. Was our feud, our vendetta, all in my head? Did I make everything up?
And what about now?
I’m falling for him.
But it doesn’t matter. Even if Vivian wants more—which is a stretch—his father will never accept us being together.
And Vivian will never defy his father.
I’m so focused on my thoughts that I belatedly realize something is going on with the van. It seems sluggish. We have a full tank of gas, so that’s not the problem. And then I see the check engine light. How long has that been on?
“Is something burning?” Vivian asks, leaning forward and sniffing the air.
And then I smell it. Shit. “Hold on, everyone.” I pull off the road, but I’m barely on the shoulder when black smoke starts billowing out from under the hood.
Then there’s a loud boom and the van shudders to a stop.
Shit! “Everyone out.” I open the door and climb out, ignoring the pieces of glass still falling from the window. The rest of them stare at me. “The engine’s on fire. And we just filled up with gas. Do I really need to explain this?”
Everyone shuffles out, getting as far from the van and the traffic as they can. Vivian walks up to me, hesitating. “Maybe you should check? It might not be that bad.”
“Do you know what will happen if I open the hood? The fire will get bigger. If the van is savable—newsflash, it isn’t—our only chance is to call someone who knows what they’re doing.”
“But you know how to fix things…”
“As you’ve told me, more than once, Vivian. I can’t fix everything.”
