“You’re the one who doesn’t look sure.” I hesitate, reminding myself that Jonah is innocent. And as stepbrothers, we’restomping all over boundaries and social expectations. And I’m fairly certain George might kill me if he finds out. He’d definitely disown me. “We don’t have to do this.”
His shoulders relax. “I want to. I’m just nervous.” He closes his eyes for a few seconds as if he’s gathering his courage. His gaze drifts down to my mouth. “You’re all I think about, Vivian.”
His admission eases the last of my worries. Jonah wants me. I couldn’t stop this from happening if I wanted to. And I don’t want to.
I have an overwhelming urge to crush our bodies together. Taste the sweat on his neck. Kiss him until he moans against my lips. Instead, I place my hand on his chest and wait. Jonah needs to make the first move.
“No going back after this.” His words are soft like a breath.
Is there a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes? A slight hesitancy in his voice? As if he wants to take this last step, but he’s caught on something.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“I want this, Vivian. Want you.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I’m nervous, but—God, it’s embarrassing.”
Under my hand, the wild beating of his heart tells me more than his words. I kiss him. Slow and sweet. But it quickly turns to more. This, he’s confident in. His hand goes to my nape to hold me while he takes what he wants. Is he more experienced than I’m giving him credit for, or is he a natural?
We’re both panting hard when I pull away. I don’t want to stop him, but we need to discuss things before this goes too far. He whines at the loss, and I chuckle. “Hold on.” I brush my fingers over the stubble on his jaw. “We need to discuss a few things. What you like and don’t like?—”
He groans and rests his head on my shoulder. Is this shy-Jonah? Or something else. “Do we have to?”
“No, but, Jonah…” I wait until he’s looking at me. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, you’re not ready to do it.”
He closes his eyes and nods, as if he’s working up the courage.
“What things have you done already? Let’s start there.”
“With being a Dom?” he asks, looking away. “Or…at all?”
That stops me. “Let’s start with at all.”
The carpet has the same boring design that’s in most hotels, so it can’t be that interesting. But that’s where his eyes are glued. “I’ve done some stuff. Kissing. Touching.”
Normally, I’m blunt as fuck. But asking Jonah if he’s ever jacked someone off may spook him. “So you’ve used your hand?—”
“Yes, of course.”
“—to get someone else off.”
“Oh.” His shoulders hunch a little more. “No.”
“You’re a virgin?”
He flinches slightly. And that old Jonah snark is back in his voice. “Is that a problem?”
We’re both tired. I recognize it now for what it is. A defense mechanism. “You being a virgin isn’t a problem. You snapping at me for asking definitely is.”
“Sorry—” He starts to pull away again. I hold on tight.
“Nope. Don’t run away, Jonah. Talk to me.”
“Look, it’s not a big deal. I just haven’t done a lot.” But his body language says there’s more to it than that. He stands rigid, turned away as if he might try to make a run for it.
“Why not? You weren’t out in high school, so that makes sense. But in college? I would have expected you to sow a few oats, farm boy.”
He laughs, and some of the tension leaves his body. “I…tried.”
I don’t press him. And after a few seconds, he lets out a heavy sigh.
