Everyone thinks I’m this quiet farm boy. What would they say if they knew the things I liked? The things I fantasized about?
I grab my laptop and get comfortable on my bed. My heart pounds faster with fear and anticipation. What if they hear me? But the music is too loud for that.
I pull up my favorite porn site. The videos I watch over and over show a submissive—usually a twink—getting dominated by a bigger guy.
Controlled.
God, I want that. Not being dominated. I want to be the one in control.
The smaller guy is on his knees with his hands tied behind his back. He has dark hair—which doesn’t matter at all to me—and big eyes begging to be punished. It doesn’t take long to get off.
As I clean up, I’m left with an empty feeling. I’ve dated a few guys, but I can’t bring myself to share this part of me with my partners. Would they laugh? Call me perverted?
I shrug off those stupid thoughts. I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of. But knowing it and admitting it are two different things. I put on my headphones to drown out my once-favorite band and fall asleep.
I don’t sleep well, so I’m still grumpy the next morning. Opening the fridge, I search for the ingredients I bought earlier in the week to make omelets. But all I find is beer, leftover pizza, and a dried-up lime. The carton of eggs I bought is in the fridge, but all the eggs are gone. There was a half dozen yesterday.
I bend over to check something in the back—a moldy block of cheese. Great.
Phweee-hwew!
My head jerks up at the whistle, and I hit the upper rack.Ow.I turn and glare at Brody.
He grins. “Nice ass.”
My roommate is straight and not funny.
“Bro. What happened to the food I bought last week?”
Zee bounces into the room. The guy has so much energy it’s exhausting. “Sup, guys.” He gives me a sympathetic look. “Feeling better, Jonah?”
I fold my arms across my chest and glare. “Where’s my food?”
“Food?” His brow crinkles. “You might need to be more specific.”
I clench my hands to keep from shaking him and turn to leave.
Zee jumps in front of me. “Hey, Jonah. Can you loan me twenty bucks?”
“You didn’t pay back the last twenty.”
Zee runs his fingers through his blond hair. “It’s not my fault. They shorted me on my hours again. I promise I’ll pay it back next week.”
I’m pretty sure my roommate has gambled away all his money. “Can’t. I need to buy more groceries since someone keeps taking mine.” And now that I’ve worked myself up, I can’t stop. “There was a gallon of milk in here yesterday, and now it’s gone, Zee.”
He grins. “That wasn’t me.”
“Didn’t you have a glass of milk with your donuts this morning?” Brody asks with a smirk.
“That was one glass. I had to drink something.”
“There’s plenty of beer,” I point out.
“Yeah. But then you’d be griping about me ‘drinking all the time.’” He uses air quotes.
I can always tell when Zee is lying, and it’s not because he’s always lying. His nose twitches. “I’m waiting, Zee.”
He rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air. “Was I supposed to tell the girls to drink water? That’s not hospitable.”
