“Wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t.”
We didn’t finish the bottle. I think we only had two more shots each after he asked me to stay. He found me a spare toothbrush in his bathroom, and we moved around each other as if we had done it countless times.
That night he let me hold him while he slept. It felt important, so it was even more devastating when he ghosted me for three weeks after. Those weeks passed in a fog of grief. Was what we had over with?
“Xavi, you need to send him a text acting as if nothing is wrong. Pretend he didn’t break the rules or be vulnerable with you. I bet he’s just embarrassed or worried he crossed the line.” Malik held his daughter carefully as he got ready to feed her.
It made sense because he had. Staying over was against the rules of our FWB thing. With nothing to lose, I pulled out my phone and shot him a text.
Xavier
Been a hell of a week. Down for some stress relief?
It was an hour before he read it. I kept checking my phone, not so patiently waiting for his response.
Brady
Yeah, come over. Bring cheesecake.
“Well, I can tell the mission was successful,” Malik said with a smug grin.
“Sure was. Gotta go!” I stood and kissed Sora’s head and Malik’s cheek. “You’re the best.”
“Hey!” he protested. “It was your turn to change her!”
My laugh followed me out of his house.
My offering of banoffee cheesecake earned me entrance into Brady’s apartment. We didn’t talk about what happened, only told each other trivial things about what we’d been up to since he’d ghosted.
Brady was about to be very busy with his promo tour for Jae’s book. The new legislation after the successful lawsuit against AlphaPharm had brought a lot of attention to his debut author best friend. It meant we would see each other less, though that was probably a good thing in Brady’s book.
I knew our night drinking together had shifted something between us. It had scared Brady, but cemented how much he meant to me at the same time. I loved him. It was the simple, yet undeniable truth.
We ate the cheesecake before he led us to his bed. Things were awkward at first until Brady shook off his mood and pushed me onto the bed. “Strip.” I did what I was told, then lay there waiting for him.
Brady flopped onto the bed next to me. “I can’t.”
I sat up. “You don’t want to have sex?” Sure, I’d be disappointed, but I’d understand. Things were still off between us.
“No, it’s not that. Can you just take charge? Get me out of my head?” He gazed at me with conflicted eyes, begging me for relief.
I twisted until I was over him. “Anything for you.” I thought for a moment, the tension between us rising. I felt his pheromones spike in reaction to his growing arousal. “Color?”
“Green.”
He let me tie him to the bed and blindfold him. I spent the next hour working two orgasms out of him until he begged me to fuck him. When he cried with my knot still inside him, I held him close. I didn’t offer any platitudes, just my company.
When he fell asleep, I slipped from his body, cleaned him up, kissed his nose, then left. I knew it was too soon for anything more. It killed me to do it, even though I knew it was for the best.
It was the right thing to do, since I got my first good morning text from him later the next day. It kept me in a fantastic mood the whole day. Until Gio tried calling about an offer on the apartment, at least.
We fell into a pattern over the following weeks. Sexting while he was on tour, nights at his apartment when he was home. Simple, easy, ignoring the elephant in the room. Brady knew how I felt about him, but he only wanted the physical side of the relationship for now. I didn’t push even as the obstacles to us being together fell away.
My old apartment sold. I found a house and broke my lease. Gio seemed to get the message that there was no going back. We were waiting for a judge to sign off on our divorce.
Everything was going so well, I became anxious it was all going to fall apart. Malik and my moms tried to talk me out of myanxiety spiral with little success. It was only my therapist who could talk any sense into me.
“What will be, will be. You can’t control his feelings. You have to give him time.”
