But this isn’t about what I want. This is her life. Her plan. Her future.
I’m leaving soon. They tell me they are preparing a hot bath for me, and fuck, that sounds great. A bath, warm food, and a bed to sleep in sound like a dream. I may be a werewolf and used to sleeping rough, but that’s mostly for when I am in wolf form. My home has all the comforts, and I appreciate a soft mattress as much as the next man.
So I let them. I’ll find her later. Her scent is a golden thread winding through the manor, a sweet caramel thread, enticing and heady.
Headier than the cherry liquor offered to me on a silver tray, in a silver goblet, as I sink into the hot water of the bath. They can’t know silver stings, since they don’t know I’m a werewolf. No matter. I’m used to handling the metal. After all, I made a choice to insert silver into my earlobe, my tongue and my cock.
The warmth seeping into my chilled flesh isn’t as pleasant as the warmth of having her curled up against me.
Nothing will ever feel as good as her. I know it in my fucking bones.
I drink my liquor to drown the pain and sink deeper into the water. I’m surrounded by comfort and luxury, and I couldn’t care less for it. It’s all a lie, and I’m not only talking about who I am pretending to be. A noble light fae. Not a dark fae. Not a shifter.
It’s time I sent a message to my own people. See if anyone is nearby to give me news of home. And then… then go. Leave.
The goblet falls from my hand as my claws grow and my jaw aches as it shifts. I hold onto the rim of the tub, struggling to stop myself from going to her.
Remember, she asked you to let go. Not to call her pet names. To be happy for her.
Be happy for her, you bastard,I tell myself.You have to be happy for her. This is what she wants. You have to respect that.
Respect it?Yes.I don’t have to like it, though. I don’t have to respect that… person she’s about to marry. That asshole. I was jealous of him, but now I’m furious.
What does he have that I don’t? What does my nature matter? Wouldn’t I have given her everything she wanted?
Fuck.
I splash my face with the hot water and take calming breaths, waiting as the shift slowly recedes. I run my fingers through my wet hair and tug.
Time to make myself presentable. If that’s what it takes to be near her, then that’s what I’ll do. Clean and dressed, cautious and talking little, I’ll pretend to be a hunter who happened upon her and brought her here.
Not a man whose heart is about to be broken to a million fucking pieces.
A manservant brings me clothes, laying them out on the bed for me to choose. Apparently, they are cast-offs of the lord of the manor, and I grit my teeth at the thought of wearing anything that belonged to him.
Needs must, though. He’s shorter and narrower than me and I struggle to get into his pants and shirts. The servant realizes the issue and goes to find something larger.
I’m left once more out of patience, struggling with my temper, having to remind myself that none of this is the servant’s fault. It’s nobody’s fault but mine for getting involved. For letting feelings develop.
That wasn’t the plan.
The servant returns with other cast-offs, and I don’t ask to whom they belong, glad not to have to wear the bastard lord’s garments. These are a bit too large, but that’s fixable with a belt and some tucking in. Pants, shirt, vest. I also get undergarments, stockings, boots, and what the servant calls a foulard, a long stretch of fabric I’m supposed to wrap around my neck and tie in a knot.
Fuck that. Fuck the vest, too. I pace the opulent room, my hands in fists, muttering under my breath, the servant looking on.
“Do you need anything else, my lord?” he eventually asks.
“I’m fine. Thank you… What’s your name?”
He blinks and stammers, “Leam.” I wonder if anybody in this manor has ever bothered to find out his name.
“A pleasure to meet you, Leam. Will there be a supper downstairs?”
“Yes, my lord. Lord Eorl has guests for tonight’s banquet and I’m sure he’ll be introducing his betrothed to them.”
Right.
“I’ll come up and inform you when it’s about to start, if you wish,” he offers.
