“You didn’t hurt me,” I say, my voice breaking only a little. “You were amazing.”
Her eyes brighten. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I smile at her. “And what about your body?”
“What about it?”
“You haven’t explored it yet. I reckon we should try that next.”
Even in the gathering darkness, I can see the bright blush on her face. “I don’t… there’s no need.”
“I thought you wanted to know everything.”
It’s cruel on my part. You might call it thoughtless. We’ve already gone too far. I’m well aware of that. This is where I should mark the end, before we reach our destination, before I destroy her just like she destroyed me.
Butfuck, I can’t stop myself. I’m like a carriage with spooked horses and broken reins, galloping down a slope, about to crash and burn.
Hells, it would be worth it. For me, it would be so fucking worth it. But I’m not the one going to get married, so I say nothing more and start walking.
After all, she’s right. Night is falling and we need shelter.
This is my responsibility, my duty, and I let myself lose sight of it. I’m her protector. She’s mine to look after. And I’m doing a damn lousy job of it.
We spend the night in a small cave that I first clear of spiders and other crawlies. I let her sleep in the back and I take the entrance, so that anything that comes looking for a bite will have to step or crawl over me.
Needless to say, I don’t get much sleep. And the truth? It’s Rosie on my mind, not possible predators. Rosie’s warmth, her face, her body. Her touch.
I’m fucked. I’m a fool in love. Who would have thought? My friends and family back home will laugh themselves sick when they hear about this. Laugh, while I shut myself up and howl, turn into a wolf and wander the world, hoping to heal from this blow.
Because this journey is almost over. We can’t be far now. I know the area where this Lord Eorl lives, I passed close by as I travelled through the lands—before I was captured by the fae lackeys of Rosie’s stepfather.
At this point, my mind is painting pictures of me with Rosie in a house up on the mountains, with a rose garden to fit her name, pets, friends, and children running around us.
Did I say I’m fucked? Well, I am.
A noise draws me out of the cave, and I find a boar sniffing around. I chase it away, then get attacked by a buck, and I’m glad for it, glad to fight it off and spend some of that dark, restless energy that’s drowning me.
Then I pace in front of the cave mouth like a caged animal, hoping for more attacks, for more animals to fight. I thump my fists on my chest, snarling at nothing and everything.
“Come on. Come at me.” I only want an excuse to extend my claws and sink my teeth into flesh, to punch and slash and roll in the dirt. To shift and lope away. If only being in wolf form changed my mind, clarified things. But that never happens.
I wish I’d been killed back at her home. I wish she’d killed me. It would have been a mercy.
“Valen?” She emerges from the cave as the first rays of light sweep across the sky and the dragons dance among the clouds. “You’re up.”
I smile at her, because how can I not? Seeing her drives the darkness away and calms my racing heart. Seeing her reminds me of my role in this crazy venture. Of my place.
I’m her guide, her protector. Nothing more.
“Ready to hit the road, Princess?” I ask, amazed that my voice is so steady after the night I had.
“Are you okay?” She approaches me and lifts a hand to my face.
I catch it, struggle not to press it to my cheek, my mouth. Slowly, I lower it. “I’m fine. I believe we can be at the manor before nightfall.”
Her blue eyes widen. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I recognize this area. I know we’re close.”
