A violent jolt pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn my head to look at Sky. "Do you sometimes wish you could turn back time?"
"Constantly." She lowers the pack of chocolate raisins as if something spoiled her appetite. "But we can't change the past. All we have is the future."
The future. The one where Maxime and I build the family we both long for. He has been doing that since he found out about my pregnancy. And I have been doing that since I recklessly risked this pregnancy and lost something whose value I hadn't fully realized before. I feel the corners of my mouth lifting. What if fate ultimately took the choice between dancing and having a family out of my hands, a choice I couldn't have made myself?
"Maybe we need to rethink our lives," I say, turning to Sky, whose eyes widen in surprise.
"What do you mean?" Her full attention is on me; I can feel it.
"Maybe it's okay to admit when you can't do something," I add absentmindedly, wondering at the same time if that's really true or if I'm just trying to convince myself.
My best friend puts away her chocolate raisins. "Where are these insights coming from all of a sudden?"
Just as I'm about to answer, my phone rings. I take it out of my handbag.
Unknown caller. I recognize the area code as someone calling me from a Paris landline.
Strange. Who could it be?
"Go ahead and answer, I need to wash my hands anyway," Sky waves her chocolate-covered fingers and gets up from her seat. "I'll be right back, looking forward to your answer."
I nod at her, then look down at my phone again and answer the call. "Bonjour."
"Mademoiselle Olivetta?"
"Oui." Beyond the train window, the vast plains of the Paris outskirts come into view again. The sunlight blinds me.
"I apologize for calling so late," says a female voice that sounds somehow familiar. In the next second, I already have a suspicion of who is on the other end of the line.
