With her legs drawn close to her body, she groans softly. "We make a great team," she confirms with a touch of irony. Suddenly, I feel her piercing gaze on my face. "We know what's going on with me, but what about you?"
"Perhaps it's food poisoning?" I wonder aloud. What did we eat yesterday in Giverny? Cheese, grapes, baguette. Maybe it was the Comté? Can hard cheese even go bad?
"Where were you yesterday?" Curiosity fills her voice. "And with whom?"
How I wish I could tell her about our excursion and show her the pictures we took at that romantic spot by the water lilies. Where we enjoyed our togetherness on a hidden wooden bench. But I can't. It will never be possible, and with each passing day, it feels more agonizing.
However, she could at least know that there is someone. I don't have to tell her who it is; she probably already suspects it from weeks ago.
"I was at work, where I ate, and then I went to yoga," I reply anyway. Before I reveal even a part of my secret to her, I need to discuss it with Maxime.
Her eyebrows knit together. "How long do you plan on lying to me?"
The disappointment in her eyes is almost unbearable. "I'm sorry, I can't."
"Why?" She sits up a little and stretches her legs on the fluffy bathroom rug.
No matter what I say, it would be a clue I can't give her. So I brush it off and hope she'll be satisfied with that. "It doesn't matter."
"You're with someone." Her gaze pierces me.
"Nonsense," I reply, my tone too harsh.
Suddenly, her eyes widen. "Oh my goodness..."
What? Why oh my goodness?
In shock, she grasps my upper arms. "I know what's going on with you."
No, please, this can't be true. She can't know, it's impossible. Maxime and I have been extremely careful not to be discovered. No one at the academy has ever seen us together.
"You're pregnant," she insists.
Instinctively, I shake my head. We've always been careful with contraception. There's no way anything could have happened. "Impossible," I say, hoping she doesn't misinterpret the panic in my voice.
Instead of responding, she raises her eyebrows. For a few seconds, we lock eyes, and at that moment, hundreds of scenes play out simultaneously in my mind.
Maxime and I in his bed. On the kitchen counter. In the dressing room.
The lack of energy during training.
The dizziness during our stroll through Rambouillet.
The missed period.
And now, morning sickness too.
Swallowing hard, I fix on Sky, in whose eyes more and more pity is emerging. My hands find their way to my breasts without my intervention.
Are they swollen?
Perhaps.
What if one of the condoms was faulty?
Oh God.
With the force of a tsunami, an unprecedented panic overwhelms me.
This can't be true.
It just can't be true.
My life. My future. My dream.
Everything could crumble.
"A test. I need to..." I mumble, my voice barely audible, pushing myself up from the floor, though I doubt my legs are strong enough to carry me to the pharmacy.
