Chapter 31
Hanna
Yawning, I enter my bedroom at the estate and head straight for the wardrobe. I feel a bit like I'm being controlled remotely, as I clumsily put on jeans and a T-shirt. My thoughts no longer come to a halt, even at night, robbing me of sleep.
Yesterday, on our way to Pietrasanta, Vico and I sang louder and laughed more as we moved farther away from the estate. But on the way back, he became unusually quiet.
And I didn't know what to say either.
A faint pounding in my temples makes itself known. It's as if my numerous thoughts just don't have enough space up there.
Sighing, I turn around and lean against the windowsill. I attempt a breathing exercise, but it doesn't help. Especially when my gaze falls on Florian's bouquet on the nightstand. The roses smell so wonderful that I can even sense it from here. The flower heads are huge; the bouquet must have cost a fortune.
I step closer to the flowers and let my fingers glide along the edge of a petal. As I do, I notice a piece of paper that wasn't there yesterday. Carefully, I pull it out.
Without you, only half of me is here. I can't wait to start our new future together. With love, Florian, it reads in Florian's scrawled handwriting.
Lost in thought, I turn Florian's message in my hands. It's a bit strange that he's suddenly so romantic. Maybe I should have gone away alone much earlier to give him the opportunity to miss me. His friendly face appears in my mind.
He is a wonderful partner.
Vico, on the other hand, is unpredictable. His love for freedom and his willingness to take risks have something exotic and alluring, but in the end, nothing he does will likely last.
Stop.
I shouldn't compare the two. It's not fair to either of them. After all, I've never spent as much time with Florian, completely free from everyday life, while with Vico, I haven't experienced a single second of everyday life.
The pounding in my head turns into a throbbing pain, accompanied by a shrill ringing in my right ear. I need to take a migraine pill quickly if I don't want to lie helplessly in bed today. I reach for the water bottle on the dresser and take out my medication from my handbag. To be safe, I take a double dose. After all, I only have five days left.
Then I have to go back.
Back to Tyrol. Back to my other life.
A pang of melancholy rises within me, but I don't want to allow it. My old life doesn't exist anymore. Even when work takes me back soon, I'll do everything to savor my time there. And who knows, doing it together with Florian could take our relationship to a new level. From good to great.
I reach for the never-ending checklist to see what's left to do. None of the open points are appealing to me. I'd much rather find out where the day takes me and do what I feel like doing.
Experience a little bit of the freedom that Vico adores so much.
A bit ofeverything is possible.
My thoughts involuntarily wander back to my zip line adventure and the liberating feeling I had. Maybe Vico isn't the reason for my confusing emotions. Perhaps it's my newfound outlook on life that makes me feel like I can soar?
The idea brings a smile to my face. If that's true, it would mean I hold my own happiness in my hands. Before I can delve deeper into this thought, someone knocks on the bedroom door.
Vico peeks in. "What's on the agenda for today?" he asks in a controlled tone, nodding toward my checklist.
I can't help but scrunch my nose. "Ugh, that annoying thing."
Suddenly, his expression changes, becoming relaxed and curious. "I don't like it either," he says with a wink, casually leaning against the dresser beside me. "But you have to tick those boxes, no way around it, right?"
Can he be serious? Ever since he saw Florian's instructions, he's been eyeing them as if they were poisoned. And now he's reminding me of their importance? "Are you drunk?" I blurt out.
His laughter brings back the lightness that I hadn't seen since my phone call with Florian yesterday. "Certo che no!" he says, playfully offended. "But it seems like you've taken something."
"Just migraine pills, nothing else." I grin, simply because he's smiling at me. And I can feel that I can hardly resist the exuberance engulfing me right now. With enthusiasm, I toss the checklist onto the bed, and suddenly, my headache vanishes like a puff of smoke. "Let's do something exciting," I say on a whim, finding the idea splendid.
Who knows how quickly I'll have this opportunity again once I'm trapped in the routine of work. Only five days left.
