And wrong.
At no point was that clearer to me than now. Sharing my fear of water with him at Spiaggia bianche was the first mistake. But the moment I allowed him to get so close to me at the vineyard was crucial. It was the beginning of something that currently feels like it can't even be stopped by Florian's presence.
"This is great, Hanna!" Is it astonishment or admiration that I hear in Florian's voice?
Whatever it is, it makes me glow. "I'm still learning, but soon I'll get the hang of it."
He takes the camera from my hand to look at the rest of the pictures. "Is this all?" He frowns and looks back at me. "Just the vineyard? And what's this? A nature park?"
The canyon. I only took two pictures there before I was persuaded to try the zip line, losing myself again.
Florian seems deeply disappointed. My stomach feels heavy.
"It was busy. Camilla had her babies, and Vico…" I trail off.
His puzzled look silences me. "You've been spending time with the family?"
Regretfully, I lower my gaze. Spending time with the Olivettas felt so nice. Have I been too easily swayed by them? Was that wrong? My God, I don't know anything anymore.
"Just to find out more about them," I say quickly, grateful for at least this excuse.
He hands me the camera back. "And?"
Internally, I'm torn apart. If I tell Florian they can't be trusted, he'll reconsider buying the estate. The Olivettas would have a chance to preserve their family legacy. Vico just signaled that he could imagine a life here in Collina da sogno with his family. Or did I imagine it too readily?
"Hanna? Are you daydreaming again?" Florian nudges me.
I would have reacted defensively before, but suddenly, I don't want to. Even though everything else I saw earlier was exaggerated daydreaming, this one thing wasn't. Pretending to be someone I'm not isn't right, so I look him firmly in the eyes. "And if I were?"
For a moment, a deep furrow appears on his forehead, then he waves it off. "So what about the Olivettas? Are they trying to swindle us with a bargain price?" He gestures toward the dilapidated building. "Not that we invest here and never manage to renovate this ruin."
What does his evasive reaction mean? Whatever it is, I won't lie to Florian. Not after everything I've already put him through. "I think they are okay," I say.
Now, he smiles again. "Tomorrow, I'll finally meet the seller in person. Then we can be sure." He reaches for my hand, and we stroll on. "Come on, let's continue exploring together."
Walking beside him, I don't know what to say. I still can't gather clear thoughts. A grueling silence settles between us as I keep stealing glances at him, asking myself questions that shouldn't be hard to answer.
Is Florian the right man for me?
What do I feel for him?
"Don't you even want to know about the progress with the required loans?" he asks with a disappointed look.
"Surely, you have everything under control." I caress his arm. "You always do."
"That's only possible because you have my back," affection shows in his expression. "I love you, Hanna."
I swallow. "And I love you." The words taste strangely sour on my tongue. I don't know if they're true. It could all just be a holiday fling. That's madness! "Tell me about your achievements," I ask him, trying to get rid of this terrible emotional turmoil.
As we approach the decrepit pool, he says, "You'll be impressed because I've pulled out all the stops." A broad grin makes him look mischievous.
While we pass the pool and walk toward the outdoor terrace with overgrown herb beds, he talks about things I barely understand. He speaks of short-term overdraft credits, collateral, and annuity loans. Then he mentions sums and percentages that I understand even less. He talks about repayment premiums and effective annual interest rates. My head spins. A throbbing pain spreads in my temples, and my neck stiffens.
"That sounds amazing," I still say after he finishes his explanation. "You've done a great job."
"One must give everything for their goals," he clenches his fist with a determined expression.
I nod in agreement. My throat is so tight that I can't say anything more. Despite my migraine attack, I realize once again that I'd be lost without him. He knows the paths we need to take, lovingly takes my hand, and bravely leads the way. I may not know much, but one thing is clear: with Florian by my side, I have a future that I shouldn't risk.
