He looks at me searchingly. But before he can say anything, our breakfast is served.
I take a sip of coffee and search desperately for another topic of conversation. "And what about you? When will I hear one of your songs on the radio?"
Laughing amusedly, he tears off a piece of his cornetto. "Oh, that. That's ancient history."
"You're not playing anymore?" I place the coffee cup down incredulously. This can't be serious. "Music was your big dream. What happened?"
"Life happened." With a happy expression, he pops the sweet pastry into his mouth. Then he raises his index finger andrummages in his wallet with the other hand. He opens it and places it on the table in front of me. "This is Paola," he says, tapping on the photo of the woman with the bright smile, held in his arms.
I can't help but smile amusedly. "You have a picture of you and your sweetheart in your wallet? I simply can't believe it."
Undeterred, he opens the next compartment of his wallet. The snapshot of a little boy catches my eye. "And this is Tommaso."
No! "You have a family?" slips out of me in shock, even before I can gather my thoughts clearly. Adriano, the wild one. Invincible rock star and fighter for freedom, has turned into a dutiful family man? Resistance builds within me. "Why?"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "People change."
Nonsense. He's been lulled into this. And now he's stuck with two people he loves too much. One day, he'll pay the price. The pain will consume him.
"Don't look at me like that, Vico." He shakes his head, putting away his wallet and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'm happy."
Yes. Now. But one day, it'll be over. That's a fact. No one can defy death! "I… I'm just surprised, that's all," I manage to say.
For a moment that lasts far too long, he fixes his gaze on me. "What happened to your mother was terrible. I understand that you…"
"Everything's fine," I hurriedly interrupt. "That's not what this is about."
He doesn't release me from his gaze. "Oh, no? Then what is it about?"
"About you, of course. You wanted to fill the biggest concert halls in Europe. You dreamed of signing autographs, composing songs late into the night, and living an extraordinary life." And now, he's sitting across from me. The decent family man. He'sprobably taken on some boring job and dutifully mows the lawn every weekend.
The accusatory tone of my words bounces off him as if he's wearing a protective suit. "No stage in the world could ever give me the feeling I have when I see my son laugh."
In my mind, the image of my niece I held in my arms less than an hour ago appears. Her tiny nose. Her round eyes. And again, there's that feeling I had during that moment, mixing with the memory of when my arms refused to let go of Hanna, even though my mind protested.
Dammit.
The meeting with Adriano was supposed to distract me. It was supposed to remind me that a life of freedom is the best life one can have. It was supposed to make these feelings vanish from me.
Now, he leans over the table to me and pats my hand. "Those who love can lose. But those who resist love have already lost."
I haven't lost anything. I have everything I ever wanted. Even my breakthrough as an athlete is closer than ever before. That's the only thing missing for my happiness.
Struggling to compose myself, I pull my hand back from under his. "Thanks, but I'll stick with cliff diving." As the words leave my mouth, I taste the bitterness they leave on my tongue.
