I thought the same. "She never intended to stay," I say, letting my gaze sweep across the clearing. The water of the lake sparkles in the foreground, and the mountains rise on the horizon in their rugged beauty, reaching up to the sky.
"How do you know that?" Hanna delicately works on the mushroom with cautious movements.
"I found an invitation to a job interview in Vienna from her," I reply, turning my attention back to the mushroom in my hand. "She will leave, Hanna. One way or another." Uttering those words alone is difficult for me.
My sister lets out an audible sigh. It seems she doesn't have an answer for that either.
I turn to her. "What if I went with her?" I look at her hopefully. "I could at least give it a try."
Deep wrinkles immediately furrow her brow. "In this world, there is no greater power than love. That's what I will always believe," she responds, sounding a little like she's trying to convince herself first and foremost.
"But?" I know there's something more.
"Your lungs wouldn't last a week." Her expression fills with warm compassion.
"There must be medication. It can alleviate the effects of the exhaust fumes and help me breathe somewhat," I counter, hardly recognizing myself. I love Semmtal. Despite everything that has happened here, every inch of this paradise is my home. I know I wouldn't be happier anywhere else in the world.
But the thought of being without Elina diminishes the significance of it all.
"So it's that intense between the two of you." A wistful smile crosses her face.
What am I supposed to say to that?
Should I tell her Elina is like a brilliantly shining light in my darkness? That through her, I finally feel alive again? And that a single glance into her eyes is enough to make me feel like I can fly?
"Medication is not a solution. You should talkopenly with her," she says, spreading her arms. "You could lead a wonderful life here without compromising your health."
"No," I quickly retort, as that is the last thing I would do. "Since childhood, Elina has dreamed of becoming a neurologist. I won't take that dream away from her." What kind of man would I be if I put my needs above hers? "There must be another solution," I add emphatically. "But what is it?"
She shrugs. "A smaller town?" she suggests awkwardly.
I nod. "We could live on the outskirts of the city or in a surrounding community."
From Hanna's expression, I can tell she doesn't think much of my idea. "You've already tried that," she reminds me earnestly.
Of course, I have. When Julian moved to Innsbruck for his studies, I wanted to go with him. But I couldn't stand living in the housing estate for more than a month.
Too many walls. And the stench. It felt like I was locked up in a prison.
"Can one great happiness outweigh many small ones?" The words escape her mouth softly.
I don't know. All I know is that what exists between Elina and me is too important not to fight for.
Internally distraught, I rest my head in my hands. "What should I do?"
Hanna's chair rattles on the veranda floor. A second later, she squats in front of me, looking up at me. "Talk to her."
"I can't," I reply. "Every word I say would put pressure on her. She shouldn't have to make adecision." I will find another way. It exists, I'm sure of it. I think hard until an idea begins to form in my mind. "I need to show her the life she could have here." And then I hope that she actively chooses this life on her own.
Hanna nods hesitantly. "Let me know if I can help," she says with a warm-hearted expression.
Lost in thought, I nod. Although the chance of success is slim, it's my only option. And I already know where I will start.
