After a refreshing shower, I make my way to the village store. With the shopping bag under my arm, I trudge along the gravel path to the road. Despite it being May and the sun shining, it's cold. I could already be wearing flip-flops in Vienna, but here I'm still in ballet flats. Hardly anyone crosses my path, and when I open the door to the small convenience store, I seem to be the only customer.
The bell above the door rings brightly. Just like last time, I can't help but marvel that places like this still exist. I step inside, amused, and spot Maria behind the sales counter. She owns the miniature supermarketwhere one must always check if the food has already passed its expiration date.
"Good morning." The old lady with the thick-rimmed glasses beams at me cheerfully.
Not for the first time, I marvel at how everyone in this village always seems to be in such a good mood. "Hello, Maria. How's your blood sugar?" I ask, winking at her. I can't help but bring it up. Her health is important to me.
With a radiant smile, she lifts her chin. "I only bake with whole grain flour now."
A mixture of astonishment and admiration fills me as I gaze at her. She has actually taken my preaching to heart. "That's wonderful," I say as a sudden warmth fills me.
I have been able to help her. Thanks to me, she will lead a life free of ailments.
Smiling contentedly, I pull my shopping list out of my jacket pocket. Unfortunately, nothing listed on it could even remotely pass as healthy. Besides the much-needed comfort food, I should probably buy some fruits and vegetables. But first, I need to get my favorite cereal. I can't possibly start the day without those oversugared wheat pops with the green frog on the box.
Light-hearted, I reach for one of the metal shopping baskets and enter the first of the two narrow aisles. I don't have much variety to choose from, neither in the candy section nor in the ready meals. At least there are marshmallows, albeit only one kind. I grab three packs and stuff more treats into the basket. It's hard to tear myself away from the sweet stuff, but my hips will thank me, so I march on.
As I turn into the next aisle, the chocolate almost slips out of the basket. In the nick of time, I catch it, place it back, and lift my head.
Seconds later, I collide with a red, white, and blue plaid wall.It's soft.
And it smells like pine cones.
A clattering sound reaches my ears.
My shopping basket! Bewildered, I take a step back. The wall is Noah. And my groceries lie scattered at his feet.
Great."Um... sorry," I utter.
In the next moment, I realize I'm practically without makeup. I've only applied light daytime makeup, a bit of blush, and mascara. My hairstyle probably resembles that of a mad librarian rather than a successful doctor.
Great.Nevertheless, I attempt a casual smile. "Hi, Noah. How are you?"
He sinks to his knees to gather my purchases. One by one, he places all the unhealthy stuff back in the basket. As he touches the packs of marshmallows, it's as if they're dipped in poison.
Thank goodness I didn't buy any feminine hygiene products, I think as I bend down to help him. "That's kind of you."
For a moment, he lifts his eyes. He doesn't say anything, but he nods at me.
"How's your thumb?" Almost instinctively, my gaze shifts to his right hand. But it doesn't get there because it gets caught on the heart-shaped box of chocolates he's tucked under his arm.So he does have a girlfriend. Probably the one with the curly hair who brought him to the doctor's office.
Of course.Once again, I only saw what I wanted to see. And hoped for something that will never happen. Although I’d already sworn off Noah yesterday, shame now rises within me. It surges hotly up my throat to my cheeks.
I just want to get away. Hastily, I squeeze the last toffee pack into the shopping basket, grab the handle, and dart upright.
"Well, until next time." I whirl around and walk off, seeking refuge behind the shelves, away from him and this incredibly embarrassing situation.
As I turn into the next aisle at a brisk pace, I catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. He watches me with a furrowed brow. Then he disappears from my field of view in the blink of an eye.
Disappointed in myself, I lean against the shelf of washing and cleaning products that smells of spring freshness and close my eyes. I try to breathe calmly, but the feeling of shame clings to me. And so does the fear I've carried with me all my life: no one will ever love me wholeheartedly. With great effort, I suppress the tears welling up, and my nose starts to swell. At least I remain alone in my aisle while Noah apparently pays for his stupid box of chocolates.
A little later, the sound of the bell tells me he's gone. So I dare to come out of my hiding place and walk to the cashier, where Maria absentmindedly gazes out the door.
"That boy..." she mutters to herself, a mix of incomprehension and fondness. "What a shame..."
Frustrated, I heave my shopping basket onto the counter. I can only agree with her.
