Ouch!he exclaims with a pained expression even though I don't actually touch him.
He's making a joke. Or is he?
I do my best to remember, but no further images come to mind. For a fraction of a second, I see him squinting his eyes. Yet I can't assign a definite meaning to that movement either.
If I can't even remember something as simple as that, how will I ever retrieve the accident itself from my memory?
"Dammit," I mutter, turning away from the entrance to the Semmtal Gorge. If today is meant to unfold exactly as it did on that fateful day last autumn, then I shouldn't enter the gorge just yet.
I take a deep breath to calm myself.
Nothing can happen, and everything is fine. I've climbed the Großer Semm multiple times, even after Julian's death.
I can do this.
Once I reach the summit, I will search the sky forthe planets my best buddy observed back then. I even have his binoculars in my backpack. After the descent, I will tackle the gorge. I must go all the way to the exact spot where Julian took his last breath.
Nausea rises within me at the thought. Doubts assail me, but I push them back.
Nothing is set in stone. First, I will ascend the Großer Semm. Everything else will come afterward.
I'll definitely take the first step. "Whoever gets to the top first," I say to my best friend, who now amuses himself in my imagination by shaking his head.
