Chapter 13
Maya
When I enter the narrow hallway of our shared apartment late in the evening, I hear Elina giggling in the kitchen.
"Stop it," she calls out. "Come here, you fool."
She has male company. Just what I needed tonight.
I wish I could make myself invisible and slip past the kitchen door unnoticed. But it's impossible. I can only hope that Elina is too preoccupied to notice me. I sneak along on tiptoes.
"And now some whipped cream." A bright laugh rings out, followed by a deep hum. "Yessss," Elina breathes reverently, just as I approach the doorframe.
I should leave it at that, but I just can't. My eyes can't look away, and my head turns toward the kitchen without my command. Moments later, the image of a radiantly happy Elina appears before me. Her blond mane is partially smeared with white foam, just like her tight top with thin straps. Below, she's only wearing skimpy underwear. At that moment, an Adonis with closely cropped hair in tight boxer shorts bends over her, tenderly kissing her nose. They're clearly drunk.
The sight sends a pang through me, right where it already hurts. I force myself to keep going. Watching this isn't good for me.
"Maya!" Dammit. She's spotted me.
"I'm already leaving. Don't let me disturb you," I say quickly and turn away.
A sticky hand reaches out for me. "Wait, I want to introduce you to someone."
That's not necessary, I already know who stands before me. "Hello Flo, nice to meet you."
The brows over the man's foggy eyes furrow. Then he raises his hand, flexing his abdominal muscles as if to impress me. "Me too, Maya." The scent of alcohol on his breath makes me recoil in disgust.
Elina giggles like a teenager. Again. But I can't hold it against her. After all, I can see the cloud she's floating on.
It's rosy pink. And so incredibly unstable.
It's best for everyone if I make myself scarce, so I wish them a pleasant evening, ignore all attempts to stop me, and continue to the bathroom.
With a mix of relief and dejection, I close the door of my room behind me a short while later. This room is the size of a doll's house, but I have everything I need here. I carefully glide my fingers over the feathers and beads of the dream catcher I made myself, then I draw the wildly patterned curtains. Exhausted, I collapse onto the bed, looking up at the starry sky of glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling.
After a terribly silent dinner with the housekeeper and Sophia, it took hours for the little girl to fall asleep. And even then, I could only leave her with a heavy heart. In my imagination, she's already awake again. She's crying bitterly because there's no one there.
I should have stayed with her. We could have been there for each other.
But I left her alone with a man who is only her father in a biological sense.
Plagued by the images that rise within me, I curl up on my bed. I don't want to see them, can't bear them. Yet they're there, keeping me in a fitful doze despite all my exhaustion.
***
The following morning greets me with radiant sunshine. And a time display on my alarm clock that makes me bolt upright.
Damn! I overslept. If I'm late, Sophia will think I've forgotten her. That would be the worst thing I could do to her. In a hurry, I throw on some clothes and bolt from my room.
"Hey, Pippi, wait up," Elina calls after me from the kitchen, her mouth half full.
I keep rushing, slipping into my shoes and grabbing my bag. "No time." I definitely need some hair clips. My old stuffed animal. And money for the bus. What else?
Suddenly, my roommate appears in her hospital scrubs, a bowl of cereal in her hand. "Listen, about yesterday ..."
I stop her with a dismissive hand gesture. "Don't worry about it. Everything's fine."
Her eyebrows knit together. "I didn't want to ... well ... because you ..." she stammers. Then she takes a spoonful of her breakfast, probably because she doesn't know what else to say.
