Dani and I walk to the window and get our ice cream, and after handing hers over, I can't stop the smile that forms. She looks ridiculously cute with her pigtails and pink outfit, little tanned legs that deep Carolina bronze I've noticed on a lot of the locals.
I picture my little monster in a few years' time. Will he or she have that same glow? Is it a he? Or a she?
Despite my fatigue, I suggest a short walk to the boardwalk to sit on the swings while we eat our ice cream before going to the bookstore. I shouldn't put off telling Bronwyn my news, but I'm dragging my feet—literally.
Ice cream eaten, Dani begs to walk along the beach, and I don't have the heart to say no. It's such a simple request, and we have to go that direction anyway. I don't want to be the stick-in-the-mud taking the fun out of things, so I muster up more energy and trek across the shifting sand so Dani can walk along the edge of the water. I do make sure to hold onto her though, just in case. I heard the news about the riptide and drowning, and I can't even imagine…
Once we walk beneath the pier, we head back up another bridge over the dunes, pausing long enough to wash our feet and don shoes again so we don't leave a trail of sand behind us or burn our toes on the hot asphalt. I swing our hands as we walk, making Dani release that precious giggle of hers.
I wave at Bronwyn and urge Dani back through the aisles to the bathroom to wash the sticky from her hands with actual soap. While the little girl does her thing, singing a song to count the time until they're clean, I plant myself between the washroom and Bronwyn's desk and wait for her to finish with her customer, silently urging her to hurry up before Dani emerges.
Finally the older woman heads for the door, and I clear my throat, garnering Bronwyn's undivided attention. I watch as her expression changes from a smile to one of hesitation.
"Where's Madi?"
"She walked down to Itty-Bitty Bakery to get us a snack. Why? What's wrong? And where have you been? You must've left really early this morning. I don’t mind you borrowing my car at all, but I wouldn’t have minded a note to let me know."
"Nothing's wrong." I ignore the other questions, inhale, and say, "And I’m so sorry about the car. You’re right, I should’ve asked if that was okay. Things just kind of snowballed quickly.”
“What kind of things?” Bronwyn asks.
“Well, I'm moving out. Today. Now, actually."
"What? Linds?—"
"I'm going to help Kace with the girls and—well, be his live-in caretaker. For the girls and his appointments and such," I blurt. "I know it's sudden, but he needs help, and I'm able to do it. So I offered in exchange for room and board. I'll have a place to stay?—"
"You already have a place to stay," Bronwyn says in a low pitch, her gaze briefly shifting to the hallway behind me as though checking for little ears listening.
I do the same thing, but Dani is still singing and occupied. "I know, but this works for me."
Winnie—Bronwyn. Why is her request to use her full name so hard for me to remember?—blinks and looks…hurt.
"Please don't be upset. I know it's sudden, but he needs someone right now. Why not me?"
"It certainly is sudden. And I understand wanting to help but moving in with him and the girls?"
"It's easier," I say. " Besides, he can't be left alone. Not anytime soon."
"I understand that, but, Lindsey, are you sure this is the right call? You're… You're really emotional right now, and your head has to be spinning with everything happening in your life. Maybe you should think about this a little more?"
"I can think just as well at Kace's as I can here."
"What about California and moving your stuff?"
At that question, I brighten. Thank you, Zoey, I silently squee. "Already taken care of."
"What? How?"
"I gave the furniture to my roommate in exchange for packing up my clothes. And I'm having my car shipped here, and my clothes will fit inside, so I don't have to worry about having them shipped. My car will be one giant suitcase."
Bronwyn blinks several more times in silence but just when she's about to say something else, Dani skips out of the bathroom. "All done! Can I play with the llama stuffy now? My hands are so clean."
"Yeah, sweetheart, go ahead," Bronwyn says.
Dani skip, skip, skips away, and I wish I had the energy to do the same. Instead, I stand there and feel guilty, even though I'm not sure why.
This move? It's for me.
