What happened earlier? Does he regret asking me to go with him? My heart gives a great lurch when I realize that he wants to take it back.
No.No, no, no! I just decided I would go for this, that I would earn that money.
Why would he change his mind? And why on earth would he send me flowers to apologize?
He doesn’t want me after all.
My nose tingles, and my eyes burn. I thought I’d gotten over the searing pain of rejection, but I was wrong.
I take out my phone. I have his cell phone number… The logical voice in the back of my head tells me to wait, not to act irrationally, that I need this money.But I ignore it and swipe open my texts.
Still nothing from him, and I’m not sure why that bothers me because he doesn’t owe me anything.
Me:
The flowers are lovely, but I’m not sure why you regret asking me to go with you. Are you no longer interested, then? I guess I shouldn’t pack my bag. I’m not sure why you are so regretful, but I’ll have you know I’m not a fan of being toyed with.
He responds almost instantly.
Monsieur:
What are you talking about?
Huh. What?
I look down and notice a few petals on the table. Did they fall earlier? I wasn’t home last night…
Wait.When did he send these?
I pick up the card again and notice yesterday’s date.
Ah, okay. Wow. He sent these yesterday. After the incident. The apology, then, was because of the assault.
Me:
Oops. Forget I said anything.
Ugh.Lame.
Monsieur:
I don’t think so. We’ll talk about this later.
Oh, will we?
I clench my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut and wish I could shake myself. I can’t let my pride get in the way.
I can’t.
I have to do this.
Ugh, what is going on here? I need to get my shit together because I need this money. I need this deal. I can’t go messing this up because I’m getting ahead of myself.
I shove my phone in my pocket, grab a bag, and start packing. It takes a few minutes before my hands stop shaking.
I want to get out of here before anyone can talk me out of this.
Thirty minutes later, I text Fabien.
