CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Savannah
The next twoweeks with Thayer are the most thrilling, exciting days of my life. I never knew it could be like this.
It feels like I’ve taken a two-week vacation, only I don’t have any hope of returning to normalcy.
Thayer has shown me the deeper, darker side of things I never knew existed, and now that I know, I will never go back to anything shallow and superficial.
And most definitely anything vanilla.
That first night, he had me wait for him. And when he returned, he looked like a man coming back from war. I didn’t want to ask what he had done. I didn’t want to know.
I remember what he’s said, what he’s done. I can’t let myself forget it.
He’s taken me out privately to teach me to shoot and says I’m a natural. I love the heft of a pistol in my hands, the feel of his body behind me, the thrill that races through me when I hit my target.
But as the days pass, I realize that we’re not getting anywhere.
They haven’t discovered the security breach. And it appears that the people after me actually believe the decoy was me. Nicolette plays her part of the mourning sister, and the Gerards pretend they’re looking for who did it but failing.
All seems quiet, but I don’t know if we can trust it.
How long is this situation going to keep me under lock and key? What if the days string into weeks and the weeks into months?
I talk to my sister and Cosette and Gwen, my sister’s friend and another employee here.
It’s a small circle of friends but I love them.
I love my new hairstyle, and I am really in love with this club. It isn’t just the luxurious accommodations, or the feeling like I wake up every day in a bed-and-breakfast. It’s so much more.
It’s the deep, intimate, relationships I witness firsthand on a daily basis. It’s the knowledge that Thayer, as master and owner of this club, won’t let so much as a stray mouse inside these premises without permission. And I know deep down inside, above all, it’s the feeling of safety.
But I can’t help but wonder if it’s a false sense of security. Am I only safe if I’m hidden? How long will he hide me?
At first, I wondered with every day that passed if I would feel more secure in our relationship. But it seems to be having the opposite effect.
He won’t take me into a public room. All our meals are ordered and sent to his private suite.
And even though this is a spacious place to be, I miss Paris. I miss who I was in Paris, I miss being a grad student. I miss strolling alongside the Seine. I even miss shopping. Anything I need, he sends here, but it isn’t the same.
And even though being with Thayer is the sexiest thing I’ve ever done, a part of me wants to see what else this club has to offer.
I want more.
I don’t like not knowing where the danger lies, and I don’t just mean the people who are after me. Sometimes I feel as if Thayer paws the ground, like a bull ready to charge.
I don’t know if I want to be the one waving the red flag when he does.
One day, a couple weeks after we arrived, Thayer leaves me for a few hours. When he returns, he doesn’t tell me where he was or what he did. I don’t usually ask questions, but this time I do. I want to know how long this interminable wait will continue.
“So. Do you have any more leads? Any more talk about where I am or who I am?”
“No.”
“Do they still think the decoy was me?”
“I’m not sure.”
