I move closer to it on the desk, and I see it is in fact what I’ve been looking for. More confused than ever, I snatch it up. Anger risesat the thought of why this would be here. Did Ry steal it? What would he want with this ring?
Not wanting to lose it again, I slide it on my ring finger without thinking. In seconds, a thin line of blood forms from my knuckle to its base where I dragged the ring down. But that is not all.
With that one small action, the room starts to twist and bend into darkness. I’m struck with stillness, and then the panic hits me like a ton of bricks.
I’m being swept through every emotion, caught up by giant waves that keep falling into each other before I can catch my breath. Each one taking me deeper into feelings that I hadn’t even known in this lifetime—but perhaps in another.
As that thought crosses my mind, I am flooded with memories. Beautiful memories full of laughter with lifelong friends. Friends still known to me in this lifetime. Memories of dancing in a familiar man’s arms, dressed in a stunning mauve gown from some time long ago. Even the landscape looks out of this era. From a different time and country altogether.
There are memories of me, two men, and a woman in an art room. We are lounging and taking some sort of drug and then dancing in the moonlight. I flash through castles, fields of wheat, arms I know too well. And then making love.
So much love being made. A caress on my cheek, the sensation of stubble brushing against my skin, teeth nipping at my flesh in the form of ecstasy. That is until the teeth break skin, leaving blood trailing in its path. Feral eyes and a loss of control. A loss of life. My life. Every time.
After that come the memories that aren’t so lovely. They are dark, consuming me with their rot and bruising me with their heartache. My own heart feels as if it is being squeezed by a powerful hand and being dripped of every life I watch play out.
I’ve either died at the hands of myself or a man in every one. Each life ripped away the moment I remembered too much. Everylife that has ended in despair being brought on by the same two men. Mostly one in particular, Ry.
My eyes are open now. There are all these memories, but I am still left with broken pieces. The familiar man in this horrid playback is the one that lay in slumber upstairs in bed.
The other is one whose charm oozes out of him into whomever he sets his eyes on. One with moonlit hair and a vulnerability I’ve never seen in a man before. Que.
The memories are heart-wrenching, and I’m left immobile on the ground, only feeling and replaying these memories in my mind, and then—nothing. I remain. Not wanting to move for fear more memories will surface.
I hear whispers of a voice. It is Ry. He finds me curled in the fetal position on the ground of his office. Tears have stained my cheeks and left my face puffy and numb. My hands, balled into fists, grasp at the shirt fabric near my heart, which is now utterly dismantled.
There will be no going back after this. And what a shame that is, because as I look in the eyes of this man that I’ve known in so many lifetimes, but am just getting to know in this one—all I see is danger.
When he finds me, at first he holds a look of shock and worry, but then his eyes cast down at my clenching fingers. He must see what’s fitted perfectly on my ring finger. I pull myself up onto my palm, fresh tears pooling at my eyes, and one hand still gripping my chest.
“You,” I choke out. “Have you known all this time? Is that why you stole my ring?”
A ring that belongs to me and only me. Formed out of lethal love and chaos made from the hands of this very man. A ring I now know my mother must have kept hidden and safe for so many years to keep me away from this man. This very man that has torn my whole being apart for lifetimes on end.
“Explain this!” I all but scream at him. Tears hit the floorboards as I look up to him in angst, hoping what I saw is some mistake. He looks at me unsure, as if he isn’t sold on what Inow know or don’t.
“I took the ring from you for your own safety, Jade,” Ry says, and continues, “when you told me it poked you, I knew what it would do, because we’ve played this game before. So many fucking times.” He cradles my hands. For a moment, I let him until I pull them away. I can tell this hurts him.Good.
“I couldn’t let you find out. Not yet. I wanted more time with you. The real you, not tainted by the past. Not tainted by who we have been to each other.” He sighs. He has been here before. Same woman, different time. “But the past always creeps in life after life…I hoped this one could be different.”
“I saw…I saw it all,” I mumble out. I cast my eyes down now at the ring. The ring that fits the box and a door in the basement of a house I now own. I see the memories of my many lives on earth and who was in them—how they ended.
But what I don’t see is what’s behind the doors, who is this man that I’ve spent all these lives with? And Que, he was in just about every life, too. How can this be? To live so many lives with the same people by my side in each?
“I need to go,” I say as I try to stand up, wobbling on my legs that almost can’t support my weight. Perhaps it is the weight of knowing that is causing me to drag? All I want to do is go process everything, and sleep. I want to sleep so badly. I want to sleep with all that I am.
“No,” Ry says low and dangerous. “That is not a good idea. I think you should stay. We should talk this out.” Ry looks at me.
I see the pain and anguish in his eyes begging me to stay, but there is something deeper, too. Something scarier within, as his panic turns to fear. I try to walk away, but Ry grabs tight onto my wrist. So tight I feel my ligaments stretch in an unnatural disconnecting.
“Please,” he whispers.
But I can’t. I need comfort without confusion, and that is something Ry cannot give me right now. So, I pull away from him and head toward the door. He slams it closed just as I open it, pushing me against it; pinning me.
There was a time before when one of us was in the dark about who we are to each other, but now I see him. I see what I turn him into. I see how he breaks me into pieces over and over in every life.
He holds my gaze, and my whole body pleads to run. He pushes himself against me. His kind demeanor turning into something unhinged. The switch has flipped, and Mr. Hyde makes his appearance.
“You see, my sweet succulent. I’m not sure you saw everything when you put that ring on, but one thing you should know is that youaremine. You were made for me. Every. Single. Part. Ofyou.” He holds me by my ribs under my shirt. I feel his thumb grazing my flesh.
