His eyes change then. And I watch his scars rise before my eyes, but he gets out of the bed to look out the window before I can see what they become. The tension spilling from him is so thick I could cut it with a knife. And I can’t be sure I saw what I did, but before he turned, it looked as if those scars were forming into branches.
I’m not sure what terrifies me more—the thought I’m losing my mind, or the man standing in front of me.
“I need…I need a minute. I am going to start a bath,” I say to him, tears actively running down my cheeks. I find my will to stand up, my shaky hands wrapping a floral sheet around my naked body. “I think it’s best if you are gone by the time I come out of the bathroom.”
He says nothing, but I know he will be gone, because how can one stay after a moment like that? I ask one more thing.
“And I’m a grown woman. Who on earth do you need to save me from?” It’s more of a rhetorical question. One I don’t expect him to answer. His voice does come, though. It’s not until I’ve closed the bathroom door, but I hear him clearly.
“From me.”
21
THE REUNION
RACINE 1978
Two weeks pass. I haven’t heard from Ry since our confrontation the other night, nor do I want to. While I’ve struggled with the possibility of never seeing him again, I think it is for the best. A little lie that I tell myself to keep from crumbling apart.
My only saving grace has been taking walks around the property and falling in love with every tree nook, every aroma coming from a mix of the bayou and the forest surrounding it, and every piece of cascading garland of Spanish moss above me.
I can see why my uncle never wanted to leave. It’s hard to find any other place as magical as this. It’s late October now, marking my three-month point of being down here. Safe to say I love it more every day.
I’ve been getting a couple of rooms ready for Ashton and Lollie. It seems more urgent than ever to have their peaceful presence near. I’ve been checking all the boxes and prepping the spare rooms with a diligent efficiency. They both arrive together today, and the excitement within is helping me power through this day.
I can only imagine the amount of bickering and snide remarks that fills their car ride. I’m sure Lollie will all but jump out of the carwhen she gets here. Those two in small quarters for a twenty-hour drive, the Gods bless them both.
While I wait, I put some soup on and travel to the old willow tree, who always welcomes me by the sway of her boughs as I walk closer. I never feel more at home than when I am here in the presence of this majestic tree. Not even my mother’s shop in Detroit can conjure this feeling of belonging.
That’s because I am here, my love.
It is but a whisper in my ear. In some otherworldly dimension, I know it is my mother. I wrap the light sweater around my arms. Although it doesn’t get cold here like it does in Detroit, I still feel a slight breeze. Winds of change heralding a message that it is still peak hurricane season.
I am grateful I found some old sweaters among the boxes. Eventheyfeel like my mother. Everything reminds me of her, which must be why I hallucinated her hushed uttering.
The past two weeks have increased my visions of her as well as others that aren’t as reassuring. In one more recent vision, everyone I knew morphed into trees. And when I traveled below their roots, whole worlds existed below. Worlds fueled by my blood. I think my mind took that old book about the realms below the trees a little too seriously.
My mind wanders to Ry, still so bothered by the way he reacted. Even more so, I am bothered by the part of me that still longs for his touch. I even long for the roughness that he brought the last time I saw him. It’s like no matter how toxic his traits are, they are a toxin I wouldn’t mind ingesting. I want him close, and I’m afraid what that says about me.
The smell of him surrounds me then, and I look toward the direction of the old hickory. It is rather far, but I can still see its highest branches. I’ve had terrible nightmares about it since our fight. Nightmares that leave me wondering how this man could remind me so much of myfavorite tree.
The vile aggression I got to see firsthand, and I can’t help but wonder if that is the real him. But aren’t we all just varying shades of dark and light? Part yin and part yang. Part branches reaching for the light of the sun as well as roots burrowing deeper to reach the darkness below the surface. Both equally necessary to grow.
I am about to be lured that way when I hear the crunching of wheels on the driveway. I smile right away knowing who is here, all but running. Lollie’s car comes into view. She waves her hands in delight.
It’s been too long since I’ve seen them, and I am overjoyed with the pleasure seeing them evokes. The car stops, and as expected, Lollie all but leaps from it’s open door. My feet move of their own accord, making my way to my best friends.
“Lol!” I yell in happiness, and we clutch each other like our lives depend on it.
“Oh. My. God, Jade! I have missed you so much. And look at you! Wow, maybe there is something to this Louisiana air because you look positively radiant!” Lollie gushes.
Ashton climbs out, approaching our over-the-top reunion like it’s a wildlife documentary, nonchalantly tossing the keys up in front of him. He may be trying to hide how thrilled he is, but the grin he is holding back is a dead giveaway.
“She’s not wrong, Jade. You look great.” Ashton says in a genuine but cautious manner. Like an older brother who can’t quite believe I am doing well here on my own.
I make my way over to him. We both lean into a much-needed embrace. My two greatest friends at my new favorite destination. Nothing could be better.
“I am so glad you guys are here. How was the car ride?” I look between the two of them. They look at each other, and I think I notice a faint blush from Lollie, but then she puts her hands to her throat in a choking pose, dramatizing how she felt about the longjourney. There she is. I try to hold back my amusement for Ashton’s sake.
